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Self Harming, does anyone have exp of this?

(10 Posts)
Orchidlady Fri 26-Aug-11 11:08:49

Been through hell and back with DP over the past year including attempted Suicide, depression, breakdown. He is currently taking a cocktail of anti dp's and about to start seeing a psychiatrist. We have just come back from a lovely holiday and dp seemed pretty stable, the problem is we have been back few days and his illness now has take a new twist. Last night I just had enough of him moaning and blaming me for everything and left him downstairs whilst to bed, vaguely remember his coming to bed much later and carrying on, seemed to be having a panic attack ( sorry I don’t sound harsh), the problem is I have just found blood on the floor this morning. Just checked on him ( still in bed) and his arm and is badly cut, I asked what happened and he just mumbled it is all my fault. Don't really know why I am writing this, probably to vent but I just feel so upset, angry, sad. I really don't feel I can carry on like this. I just don't feel I have a partner anymore.

cestlavielife Fri 26-Aug-11 11:41:16

hi Orchid, was writing something else then remembered your story!

good you had a lovely holiday. was he absolutely fine on holiday?

my exP had major episode on return from a holiday. including the self harm etc

call GP/CMHT and tell them. he maybe needs to be admitted (readmitted?)

my exP cut himself too.
the important thing is to tell on him - whatever he says, do it. do it now -go out of hosue and call his CMHT/GP.

it is not your fault you know that - he is ill.
his mental health state is not your repsonsibility.

or you can go along and say you right - it is better you move out for a while where you wont do this. and can get better.

it is ok to say you cant handle it and to ask for more help.

but most imprtonat thing right now is you get on phone to his CMHT adn say he is having a down turn and self harming.
and have him seen today.

Orchidlady Fri 26-Aug-11 11:52:43

He really was fine on holiday, unfortunately because he was feeling fine he thought it was ok to stop taking the pills. I varying from feeling really angry and tearfull the next. Everthing is just not enough for him, claims he just does not want in live in the UK anymore, I know this really just his way of saying he can not cope. I presume self harming is a call for help? He never was admitted as CMHT signed him off because he was responding well to the drugs. Due to see psych soon.

OTheHugeRaveningWolef Fri 26-Aug-11 12:12:11

Don't have much concrete advice apart from what cestlavie said about getting him seen ASAP - just wanted to offer sympathy and support - self-harming is a nightmare.

Also just wanted to say please ignore his claims that 'it's all your fault' he's self-harming. It's not. If you buy into that you'll risk ending up locked into a codependent cycle where you become responsible for his moods. And that won't help anyone.

Orchidlady Fri 26-Aug-11 12:17:06

I have not really looked @ the cuts yet as he is still in bed but brief glance made me feel sick, looked quite deep. I think because of the crazy things that have happend this year I am not too shocked, not sure whether to call mht or wait for him to see the psych.

CognitiveDissident Fri 26-Aug-11 12:36:29

Firstly, don't panic too much about the cuts, they usually look far worse then they really are. Steri-strips (stick-on stitches) and micropore tape should take care of it and will minimise scarring (also compression bandages).

Secondly, did he stopped taking his meds because his mood has stabilised, or was he showing signs of euphoria/mania before the 'crash' ? If it's the latter then he may have to change meds. Talk to MHT if this is the case.

Self-harming occurs for many reasons. It could be a coping strategy, a cry for help, an attempt to punish either you or himself; or a combination of these things. It isn't your fault, he chose to stop his meds and he chose to cut himself.

It's a horrible thing to go through, both for you and your DP. You have my sympathies.

Orchidlady Fri 26-Aug-11 13:42:31

He stopped taking the meds because he was feeling better and we were on holiday. He know damm well that these take time to work so feel we have taken a huge step backwards. As far as the cuts are concerned he has come down with a long shirt on and pretending it has not happened. Not sure whether to just go along with this.

cestlavielife Fri 26-Aug-11 13:42:55

ah it makes sense then my exP also has done the i feel fine stop meds then crashed route.

agree that you dont need to worry too much about the cuts from his physical health pov - they prob not that bad in themselves. and Mh profresionals were not that bothered about them per se ie told me it was his choice. but of course for you and any DC it isnt something you want to be involved in.

but tor eiterate you should call his GP and let them know he stopped meds - and has gone downhill - has he started them again or still off them? he must have been told you cant jsut stop/start these meds.

will he talk reasonably and agree that this is result of meds stopping or is he just ranting?

call MHT/GP now today and tell them - as his behaviour could worsen and today is friday.
you ahve another one of those weekends coming up - jsut call 999 if he cuts again adn ahve them come and deal.
"my husband has just stabbed himself with a knife" does indeed get you quick help..... it prob wont be deep but just keep mobile on you at all times and if it happens then leave the house (with Ds if he there) and call 999 for medical help.
it should ahve to eb you dealing with this he is an adult not your child - use the medical emergency teams. that is what they there for. maybe him being taken in for a night or two might really help him and you.

cestlavielife Fri 26-Aug-11 13:43:23

sorri it should NOT ahve to be you dealing with this on your own
get teh medical profressionals invovled today especially as it is friday

Orchidlady Fri 26-Aug-11 13:49:32

Thanks cest sound advise as usual. He has started taking them again, seems to realise what he has done. He has just gone to work, unfortunately his work place seems to be a trigger, so god know what he will be like later I am feeling very cold towards him, almost part of wishes if he is going to do something stupid then to get on with it. How mean that makes me feel. I just don't know what else I can do. I just can't respect or trust him anymore. For some reason this seems to surprise him.

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