I feel trapped by my partner and resentful. I think every day about splitting up.
We've been together about 13 years. He has no savings, earns only £12k with no prospect of improvement, he lives in my house, and is a millstone round my neck. I don't love him, I am fond of him. We have good companionship and shared interests. I have never fancied him, he's not goodlooking. I am 51, he is 58. Having seen my parents in their 80s, I want to get a life now before I get ill and old, and I really don't want to spend years looking after him as we both get decrepit.
I have inherited enough money to give up full time work and to travel in a campervan which I really really want to do whilst I am still middleaged/youngish and fit, but he can't afford the time off. I cannot afford to pay for his travel and also to compensate him for lost earnings. I could go on my own but he'd be really upset and I don't want to carry on paying for all the bills of the house whilst he lives there and I'm away travelling, and he can't afford them on his own. Twice I have paid his debts and given him a financial cushion, about £30K each time. He knows I won't stand for it another time.
Every day at work I think about splitting up. In the evening, I slide back into my rut..If we split, he'd have no money and no home. He would probably find another woman to live on, as, despite his lack of good looks, he is very obliging and brilliant at maintenance and single men are in short supply at that age. I'd be on my own for the rest of my life, I am a loner, have no surviving family. I am seriously considering giving him some capital to live on to assuage my guilt if I chuck him out. Legally, he has no claim to my £.
He likes the nice lifestyle I provide, so he won't leave volontarily. I would feel relieved if he did. Should I get a life and risk future loneliness now, should I go off for a year on my own leaving him in the house, or stay, sacrifice the travel and carry on working to subsidise him, and try not to carp, but count my blessings. Thanks
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Relationships
Should I get a life selfishly or stay and count my blessings?
countrydreamer · 25/08/2011 01:21
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