hello
have been lurking for a while
Married for 10 years with 3 kids and bascially have been unhappy most of that time.
Things got particuarly bad 5 years ago after the birth of my last child (problem pregnancy, OH didn't want to be at the birth) got depressed afterwards.
We haven't been out in nearly 6 years, we don't talk or spend any quality time together. I used to try to talk to him about this, but was verbally attacked, it was all my fault, I was mad............then I would get the silent treatment for several days.
this culminated last year in my having an affair. It was a mistake but I can understand why I did it. During this time I became very unwell and was admitted to hopsital for depression. I learned to face up to problems in my maaiage. I was so miserable and deprived of attention , care or love. I tried to get a divorce, but it was too costly, couldn't bear to put the children through it, and it was torture living in the same house.
One year on, things aren't much better , we've not had sex for over a year. we don't talk- he act likes I don't exist most of the time.
I spoke to him today saying how I felt and that we needed some time together but I was just 'nagging'
I have been resolved to sitting this out for the next 14 or so years until the kids leave home........but sometimes I just can't take it and feel its impossible. I'm normally ok when I am at work and then come home exhausted, but I'm off now for three weeks.
How does anyone else cope?
How do I hold it together?
It was his 40th bday recently and I made a huge effort, but he was obnoxious and didn't want me around at all.....I feel despair that I am 40 soon and I don't see the point......its depressing.
When we are together with the kids, I feel like a 'spare part' (they are all boys) and we don't talk even then
just needed to get that off my chest
any advice/support would be most appreciated
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need advice and support
18 replies
middleage3 · 24/08/2011 10:22
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