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Sex help please

(33 Posts)
Dohsex Mon 22-Aug-11 17:11:42


Dohsex Mon 22-Aug-11 17:15:31

checking namechange before my embarrasing question blush

Basically i don't come through penetrative sex. Feels nice enough but nothing like it would need to feel to get anywhere near an orgasm.

So, sex life basically tends to be snog, move onto breasts, bit of fondling, bit of oral sex (me to him), oral sex him to me. I come. We then have sex.

Im bored shitless!!!!! Any suggestions? It takes me about 10 - 15 miutes to come through oral sex so half way through i often think 'god he must be bored' and stop him doing it blush How can we get better at this?? If I DIY it takes me about a minute? maybe 2. God knows what we're doing wrong but suggestions welcome...

RavenVonChaos Mon 22-Aug-11 17:24:56

Toys? Penetration with using a
small vibrator on your clit would probably do the trick. Sex in the shower is fun too....!

ameliagrey Mon 22-Aug-11 17:25:16

well at least you come. I am the same as you with the routine but never ever come.

maybe you should just be pleased you get to come at allsmile Only about 50% of women come through penetration, so it shouldn't be your only goal.

slightlyoversharing Mon 22-Aug-11 17:31:42

In honour of my name change (again) .... hitachi magic wand.

Nuff said. blush

Dohsex Mon 22-Aug-11 17:31:44

Thanks for the responses. I know its not 'normal' (I mean usual or common) to come through penetration alone, actually I don't get how you even could because surely its not hitting the clitoris so god knows confused

I'm just so bored grin And I don't understand why it takes 15 mins with DH but only a min on my own.

Amelia - that sounds crap sad Can you DIY if you see what I mean? If you can then surely thats down to your partner's technique that you don't maybe so some experimenting could help? I know I should take my own advice really shouldn't I? blush

Thing is if we start and I get half way there it is so fucking annoying that I'd rather skip all the foreplay and just get to the sex because that way I dont get pissed off about not coming, if that makes any sense at all?

Dohsex Mon 22-Aug-11 17:32:16

wtf is a hitachi magic wand??? Too scared to google, work pc!!!!

slightlyoversharing Mon 22-Aug-11 17:33:50

It's sold by hitachi as a massager here All I will say is less than a minute. Every time. blush

slightlyoversharing Mon 22-Aug-11 17:34:35

PS the link is safe it's from wikipedia

TeamDamon Mon 22-Aug-11 17:39:01

Why don't you DIY when you're together (as it were)? That's what I sometimes do while he does 'other stuff' grin

ameliagrey Mon 22-Aug-11 17:39:07

I think it's dangerous to suggest that anyone can come in a minute or so- everyone's different. With DIY it can take me 20 minutes even with a vibrator, but I am older and so it takes longer- so they say smile

AuntieMonica Mon 22-Aug-11 17:39:14

<brave head on>

i think DIY is faster as you know exactly where/what you want and how fast/pressure/timing all important.

positions can help too, you on top?

a bit of 'running about' ie chasing around the bed/room.

a bit of foreplay in the kitchen then see where you end up?

<hopes she doesn't seem a bit 'benny hill' blush>

slightlyoversharing Mon 22-Aug-11 17:39:54

Amelia sorry I wasn't clear I just meant for me personally not for everyone (I have never asked anyone in RL)

ameliagrey Mon 22-Aug-11 17:40:43

That's okay- thought you had done a quick surveygrin

slightlyoversharing Mon 22-Aug-11 17:41:28

grin even I am not that brave in RL

ameliagrey Mon 22-Aug-11 17:47:58

Lol- just looked at the link- looks like something you sing into when doing kareoki- not that I do that eithersmile

Dohsex Mon 22-Aug-11 18:03:31

benny hill grin

I think I just get pissed off at the stuff on tv where he shoves it up and shes gasping within two seconds and then they're cming together and blah blah blah envy and although i know its not real life I still feel a bit sad.

I've never diy in front of dh, i find the thought a bit embarrasing, need to get over it deinitely. Ive heard something about a cushion under the bum to get your bits in the right place to be hit when having sex. Seems like too much hassle to me.

2 dc and I think I need to get my mojo back!!!!

humptydidit Mon 22-Aug-11 18:54:26

I think the only time I have cum during penetrative sex is if I diy myself at the same time... Pretty difficult with missionary position, but totally possible with woman on top, doggy style or spoons.

Have never actually come except from oral sex or partner rubbing me unless I do it myself. Doesn't have to be embarassing, you just rub yourself while he does his thing blush

SirSugar Mon 22-Aug-11 19:08:41

when in missionary position get him to put either right or left leg over yours and lean slightly to one side of you and bring your legs together more then move futher down underneath him so that the base of his penis is putting more pressure on your clit. That might do it wink

namechange2208 Mon 22-Aug-11 19:16:45

I don't get how you even could because surely its not hitting the clitoris so god knows
Direct stimulation of the clitoris isn't always necessary to come. I have been able to come pretty much 99% of the time from penetrative sex since I was in my early 20's (now almost 40) and if you're in the right position, the clitoris gets more than enough stimulation. I think many women 'train' themselves inadvertently to require a lot of direct clitoral stimulation without making the same link with vaginal penetration. If someone tries to manually stimulate my clitoris during sex, I find it incredibly unpleasant and in fact I probably couldn't come from clitoral stimulation alone anymore - it's just habit and practice and training.

If you have a vibrator, I'd suggest experimenting with inserting it and then bringing it out and upwards so it more or less brushes the clitoris for a little and then insert it again and keep trying that until you get start getting pleasure from stimulation of both vagina and clitoris. Don't concentrate on the clitoris when you masturbate. Does he have his fingers in you when he's going down on you? If not, I'd make sure he was doing that too, again so you can train yourself out of needing very direct clitoral stimulation. I'd keep trying with a vibrator on your own until you can come from a combination of internal stimulation and less clitoral stimulation. Try make it so that it's more incidental than the focus. Then once you can do that, you manoeuvre yourself and the position when you start getting the same feelings and try let go.

Dohsex Mon 22-Aug-11 19:19:16

Namechange- I hate you grin <harrumphs at 99% of the time> grin

Seriously, I think you could be right there, its definitely worth giving 'training' a go, thank you.

namechangeyagain Mon 22-Aug-11 19:42:28

try anal, works 100% time for me ( as opposed to 75% with vaginal penetration) but then it has taken a LONG time to find the right partner, with whom I do not feel embarrassed or worried, and am set free to be the sexual person that I can be

cupcake78 Mon 22-Aug-11 19:45:03

I think it takes practice... but it is possible if your turned on enough and if you relax...

I also am unlikely to come with just my clitoris now after years of variation and infact too much clitoral stimulation can hurt and become unpleasant.

Personally, I have found some men are well tbh rubbish when it comes to directing and imagination and maybe you need to be a little more inventive to spice up things. Also size, shape and movement does all have an effect and this is were the practice may be needed, we are all different as well. Some men I have been with just didn't have the equipment and were to inexperienced to think of foreplay or toys.

Great place to start is with foreplay. Get him to finger you at the same time as concentrating on your clitoris. Or use a small toy to help find your way. Also there is alot to be said for pelvic floor muscles and you should try and use them to your advantage, they can really intensify the feeling.

Relax and be reasonably selfish. Try not to want it too much and just think about how great it feels and let yourself go.

flatbellyfella Mon 22-Aug-11 19:50:05

Try laying on your left side left leg straight
down,bring right leg up by chest ,get o/h
to enter you straddling your left leg, he can
get right up against your clitoris with his
inner thigh and rock from side to side &
upward thrusts grinding in as hard as he
can should give you a nice time.he can
Stroke both breasts easily and rub your
back all at the same time. Go give it a try.

flatbellyfella Mon 22-Aug-11 19:57:37

I just had a vision of hundreds of m/netters
all getting their kit off to give it a try.
I hope it works for some.

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