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how long did you wait to have sex after c section. also advice on sex

(13 Posts)
lotti37 Mon 22-Aug-11 15:06:57

hi there

this is my 3rd c section about 5 weeks ago. just wondering how long you waited to have sex . i feel so tired and sore from c section i don't have the energy.

Also i feel a bit claustrophobic in the missionary position and get bit panicky what can i do to relax myself not to feel like this. any other position is fine but we have not done it in this position for a very long time as he knows i don't like it but i know he wants to do it in this position. any advice? thank you so much

buzzsore Mon 22-Aug-11 15:13:14

If you're tired and sore, it's too soon. It depends from person to person.

If you don't like the missionary position, don't do it. There are loads of other positions, you don't have to do things you don't like.

BleughCowWonders Mon 22-Aug-11 15:13:49

3 weeks after c/s and vbac births.

What positions did you prefer before? Try them, slowly and carefully (!) and don't expect anything great at first. You'll get there!

And don't wait for night time. Go for it in the morning if your baby is asleepp

Malificence Mon 22-Aug-11 15:22:04

Why are you trying to force yourself to do something you really don't enjoy?
Why would your H want to have sex with you in a way that he knows you don't enjoy?
As for how long - not until I felt like it - what's the rush? You've had major abdominal surgery and need to concentrate on yourself and your baby, are you being pressured for sex or have you just got it into your head that you should be having sex by now?

You shouldn't be worrying about this so early on sad.

Sorry for firing all these questions at you but it's made me quite sad that you're even thinking about sex before you are ready to resume a sex life, plus there are plenty of sexual activities that don't include PIV, .

lotti37 Mon 22-Aug-11 15:25:03

i have 2 other boys who always come in to our room in the morning early. the problem is i think he is fed up not doing it in the missionary position. it was normally me on top but i think he likes to feel active and not just lay there.
he does not like spooning . not sure what to do.

BleughCowWonders Mon 22-Aug-11 15:30:05

Bathroom ? Anywhere with a lock?

For me, it was about getting back to 'normal' and the sex was part of the healing process.

lotti37 Mon 22-Aug-11 15:30:38

hi malifience. he has not said i suppose i feel a pressure. i don't feel ready yet or in that frame of mind. he knows i don't like it in that position and for a long time we have done it in diff ways but i remember him saying to me to sort my head out (ages ago) as i was having panic attacks. i hate feeling this way. he always says missionary position is easy .

buzzsore Mon 22-Aug-11 15:34:00

There are loads of other positions: try the love machine position selector tool for some ideas. There are different twists on missionary that you could try that would hopefully not make you feel so claustrophobic. But really, for goodness sake, if you don't like it, don't do it. Sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyable, and missionary isn't great for getting the woman off at the best of times.

buzzsore Mon 22-Aug-11 15:36:54

Oh "sort [your] head out" - that's kind and supportive of him hmm.

If it's that bad it gives you panic attacks, definitely don't do it. Why would he want to get you to do something that freaks you out so badly? Not very nice.

lotti37 Mon 22-Aug-11 15:47:40

which positions do you enjoy best?

buzzsore Mon 22-Aug-11 15:49:20

biscuit

nilequeen Mon 22-Aug-11 16:40:21

I feel for you as I hate the missionary position too; it makes me claustrophobic and freaks me out. So guess what? I NEVER have sex in that position. Neither should you. It's off the cards, so don't give it another thought. There are lots of other positions you could try...how about with your husband on top taking you from behind? It works for me.

I had two c-sections and the first time I had sex after 3 weeks, my second baby is nearly 3 months and we still haven't had sex yet. He's away on business just now, but we're looking forward to having sex when he gets home. Everybody is different and every pregnancy is different. You shouldn't have sex until you really want to.

Try reading the stories in cliterati.co.uk to get you in the mood. Try sending flirty texts and emails. You could agree on an evening when you're going to put the kids to bed early, have a bath and a glass of wine and enjoy lots of foreplay.

I told my husband I couldn't even think about sex again unless he showered me with compliments, did the housework and treated me like a queen for the day. It's amazing what men will do in return for sex...

lotti37 Wed 24-Aug-11 09:20:10

hi nilequeen. its nice to know its not just me. was your husband ok with it? thanks for all the info!

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