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Post-baby sex

(6 Posts)
easytiger12 Sun 21-Aug-11 21:51:47

Two weeks ago we had sex for the first time since DH was born - that's 8 weeks. I didn't enjoy it at all. I felt tense and frightened that it was going to hurt me. DH was very sensitive and sweet but I just couldn't relax. The sex itself felt really different. I felt huge and couldn't feel nearly as much as I used to.

The whole thing really upset me and now I am just cold-shouldering him sexually. He knows how I feel and has tried to be understanding but I think he's starting to get irritated and upset himself.

Will I naturally 'tighten up' any more? I have been doing my pelvic floors and continue to do so. What should I do to help me relax and enjoy it again?

griphook Sun 21-Aug-11 21:59:39

the first time you have sex after child birth is terrifying, I really thought it was going to hurt.
you don't say if it did hurt? as if it did my advice would be to wait longer before trying again. If it didn't then hopefully next time you might be more relaxed. As for the tightness not sure there is alot you can do about that, but try different positions as that can make a difference

whojimmyflip Sun 21-Aug-11 22:13:15

In terms of your body coming back 8 weeks is absolutely nothing. It will take months- and I mean that not to alarm you but to highlight that 8 weeks is hardly anything. You will regain muscle tone, of course you will, esp if you do pelvic floor exercise.

JustLea Sun 21-Aug-11 22:17:15

Dont be so hard on yourself. You gave birth only 8 weeks ago, that may seem like a reasonable amount of time but people heal and feel ready at all different times. I had my Son 11 months ago, I had to have a foreceps birth as my Son went into distress and his heart came close to stoppin so I had to be cut and then stitched inside and out. Even though I do feel like my usual self now, it took me a while to start actually enjoyin sex and feelin comfortable again. Upsettin and puttin pressure on yourself will only make you feel worse next time you have sex and you'll be back to square one. Accept how you are feelin now and go with it, try different positions..I prefered bein on my side and if you start to feel down again, remind yourself you will feel normal again, your body just needs a little more time. Carry on with your pelvic floor exercises and relax smile

Best wishes

AnyFucker Sun 21-Aug-11 22:22:48

it's ok to feel like that, honestly

8 weeks is really, really soon

don't buy into this "yummy mummy" crap where there are women are back in the saddle only a few weeks (days ??) after giving birth

some of that may be true, but for the majority of women it is much more sensible to take it slowly and take care of yourself

nobody says you have to be back to normal within a certain time frame

if someone is tell them to fuck off

YouDoTheMath Sun 21-Aug-11 23:18:02

Yes, you will.

I waited three months after DD was born. The docs said give it six weeks. Er - I don't think so! Each to their own, and all that - but you have to wait until you feel ready. And you will feel ready at the right time.

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