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really messy...please help.

(5 Posts)
nello Fri 19-Aug-11 10:30:43

A year ago I was badly injured resulting in facial disfiurement and loss of vision. My partner was involved in a disagreement with another man (due to him verbally insulting me) and it got out of control, I stepped in as I can't bare violence and I got hurt. Now a year on I am struggling to accept what happened to me. Whilst my partner did not hurt me, his actions led to me getting so horribly hurt and he does show signs of lack of anger management when we have a disagreement. We have a young baby together which all happened within the same period of time of the assault and I suppose it was a reason for not breaking up when maybe I would have chosen to walk away.

Now, I don't know how I feel. I would like to just live on my own with my baby, but financially and logistically this would be difficult, if not impossible. And i don't know that i do actually want this anyway. it makes everything so complicated.

On top of this, I have recently got to know my partners family. They are so different from my family, have such different values, and bring up their children in a way very different from me, and I am noticing more and more that my partner has many different values from me. Just silly 'unimportant' things like table manners, which do actually matter to me. And it makes me even more disappointed.

All these things are really playing on my mind. I don't know how I feel or what I should do. On top of this I am really missing my ex, who I broke up with years ago, who things were not right with at all, but i think it is because he was so safe and secure, and from a really similar background to me. Does anyone have any advice? I am worrying that I am being self destructive and may make bad decisions.

ShirleyKnot Fri 19-Aug-11 10:34:00

Firstly nello, I am so sorry to hear that you have had such an awful thing happen to you. Have you had some counselling to help you come to terms with it at all?

ImperialBlether Fri 19-Aug-11 10:36:35

I'm so sorry you suffered like that. Are you able to get financial compensation from the Criminal Injuries Board? I would hope something there would give you the money to start up on your own.

I don't blame you for wanting to leave him. Anger is a horrible thing for you to have to live with. And as for his family, yes, if your family has values you want to live your life by and he and his family don't, then why would you want to live with it?

lowercase Fri 19-Aug-11 10:46:26

oh dear, you have been through it sad
so, you are feeling trapped?

where are your family? are you close?
friends?

have you heard of 'changing faces'?
dont know if they are any good.

you need to start getting some support.

worldgonecrazy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:56:22

Lets face it support group

Your thoughts about your ex may be about a time in your life when you felt happier, so it's natural to have good feelings.

Only you can decide whether you love your partner enough to still be with him in 50 years time.

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