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what to do about ex and get him to act like a father

(3 Posts)
thistowillpass Thu 18-Aug-11 22:16:18

hi my husband left me and my 3dc who were 3 and under a year and half ago. He went home to his family(abroad) for a holiday and as his father was sick. he then did not return to this country for over a year and despite me pleading with him to return or at lest keep in contact. He returned before last christmas with out warning and texted me to say he was back (had not heard from him for over 6 months). he now sees my children once a week (supervised by my childcare, as I would be concerned that he may try to take them).

he has hardly paided any money for the children maybe 30 a week as only working part time until now am trying to get him to pay more and to make more effort with children wants his friends on visits to show off kids and has even driven them by my home to show house.

I have asked him to not do both and for more money but does not seem to want to listen and can seem to understand why I dont want him back.
he also left me with lots of money owing (luckly not in my name on the whole)and have heard that he was seeing other women.

Am I mad to want my children to have a relationship with their Dad as I feel this is important for the future and dont want them hurt about been left but also dont want hurt by his current behavior not ringing when he says he will or taking calls during visits or putting them off for work. Part of me would like him to just piss off but worried what this would do to the kids.

Also am trying to sort out maintance what is fair to look for, house is in my name but morgage in both names I am working hard time am stuggling to meet bills and currently been helped by my family. Any ideas about how to get him to face responcibilities or what to look for would be appreciated. thanks

GabrieleJ Fri 19-Aug-11 12:56:40

Separation is first step I would think, if he doesn't want a divorce. From what I heard everyone will be on your side so it won't be hard to get there. Than legally everything will have to be divided, proper times and dates set for him to see his children, as well as maintenance.

If he doesn't want to help and doesn't play by your rules then you have to get lawyers involved, no other way I don't think.

Get legal advice.

And think hard do you really think your children would benefit from a father like that...

thistowillpass Sun 21-Aug-11 22:29:04

thanks its hard not to react out of anger or hope

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