Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Should i be worried?

(11 Posts)
MarieN03 Thu 18-Aug-11 03:54:30

Been dating fella for a while anyways finally he is divorce has came through. but their is one thing bothering me...he doesn't in the slightest seem to care(hurt,sad), not one bit zlech nothing!

Is it me? i am truely bothered by this, i don't understand...they have a DC together! do you think he is hiding it as not too hurt my feelings?

MarieN03 Thu 18-Aug-11 03:58:31

his

SageMist Thu 18-Aug-11 05:40:11

I wasn't hurt or sad when my divorce came through. Just relieved it was all over. Can't see why this non-reaction would be a problem.

MarieN03 Thu 18-Aug-11 06:00:30

He has a child with this person,was in love and married her.

I find it strange that you can be in love with someone and sign a paper and that's it hmm.

CheerfulYank Thu 18-Aug-11 06:08:46

How long had he been separated for?

MarieN03 Thu 18-Aug-11 06:14:31

Not long at all just over two years.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 18-Aug-11 06:26:10

The divorce coming through is just the formalities, though. Before that is the actual separation, and before that is the period where you know the relationship's probably over but you're in denial, and all in all he's probably done his grieving and got it over with. It's not like he was madly in love, and then the next day he signed divorce papers.

FAR more relevant is how he feels about the custody of his child. Does he see him or her regularly, miss them when they're not there, etc?

MarieN03 Thu 18-Aug-11 06:33:54

He only sees DC for a few hours a week if he is lucky. Lots of background behind that,that really isn't my place too talk about.

So you think i am over thinking it? it has nothing to do with me(i know) it does make a difference to our relationship if he doesn't think marriage is a big thing and he can jump in and out of it.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 18-Aug-11 06:45:04

I don't think that his lack of upset at the formal ending does indicate that. Some people find the formal end or start of something very emotionally significant - or anniversaries of big events - others process differently. Without knowing what went wrong in his marriage, it's perfectly possible that he did his grieving during the end part, and the first part of the separation, and feels like he's now moved on so the paperwork doesn't bother him.

With the child, I know that it's not always within his control, but I would want to know from him that he would prefer to see them more often, misses them, etc.

MarieN03 Thu 18-Aug-11 07:13:52

Yes your most likely right, the ending was drawn out.

Oh god yes, i know he misses her everyday, speaks about her all the time etc... and he would love to get custody but that isn't an option.No worries there.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 18-Aug-11 08:06:44

Then he clearly takes love and family seriously, and I'm sure he's a lovely bloke and you can probably relax.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now