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would've been my anniversary but on hol with new DP...feelings?

(7 Posts)
chosenone Wed 17-Aug-11 21:56:33

I would've been married 10 years 2 moro but instead I'm going on a child free holiday with new Man . Background is we split amicably a year ago, its been a strange year with a few ups and downs to be expected. DC seem to have settled into our co parenting arrangement and family slowly accepted our split. I have been with DP since Xmas and its going brilliantly and he constantly impresses me with his efforts and love. I'm looking cforward to going away with im. But I can't believe how things have changed a decade ago I was so sure and loved up with exDH, where does it go? But....I thought i would feel more sad or sentimental or something. I dont, I even put my packaged up wedding dress in the loft today wihout a care, it just seems so long ago and things were so so different. I'm concerned I may feel differently tomorrow sat on the plane with new DP thinking at this time 10 years ago I was saying my vows.

Not sure what I'm saying here really. Life hasn't worked out as I planned and I'm so much harder and cynical than that 23 yr old bride to be, its a shame and exDH is a good bloke but we totally outgrew each other and had to split. I hope I an just enjoy it with new DP and hope the kids have fun with the ex , gonna miss them too but hats another thread

sniffy Wed 17-Aug-11 22:07:23

ah, enjoy your new life.

I actually feel incredibly sad every time my would have been anniversary comes round. Passed the 25 year mark a while back - felt very wistful, but no regrets

chosenone Wed 17-Aug-11 22:48:52

Wow ...even after all that time. That's reassuring to know, thanks

sniffy Wed 17-Aug-11 23:08:29

Yes because i don't really often stop to think about my former life/ marriage but the anniversary forces me to do that ( mine is a very memorable date) and I really can't relate to that young, slim, bright, hopeful girl I was back then

GaramMasalaGirl Thu 18-Aug-11 00:22:51

"....Life hasn't worked out as I planned..."

I thought that was poignant chosenone, funny how things turn out isn't it? I think it's fine to spend a few minutes thinking about it....but no more than that. The rest of the time should be spent on enjoying your holiday and your fab new DP.

chosenone Thu 18-Aug-11 07:51:47

Thank you. Positive head on now and wine

venusandmars Thu 18-Aug-11 08:02:20

I think that anniversaries can often be a time for looking back with some sadness, and even in realtionships that are still together people may be thinking that life hasn't worked out as they expected. Friends of mine celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary recently, but they decided to have a very low key event. As a young couple they had imagined reaching that milestone aging gracefully, free of money troubles and surrounded by family. In reality they are childless and they both know that there has often been a thin veneer of happiness on their relationship. They ARE still together and they do plan on continuing to grow old together but they felt as though having a big celebration would have been false.

Enjoy your holiday and take the opportunity to also look forward.

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