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20 year old affecting my relationship

(4 Posts)
LexyLexy Wed 17-Aug-11 08:09:40

My 20 year old son has just returned from 2 years of living abroad with his father. Since he has been back he is moody, unhelpful and unmotivated (he was like that before he went). My partner of 15 years and I have become really close and happy during these last two years and now my son's behaviour is affecting our relationship and we just keep fighting all the time. We have tried talking to my son about getting a job or going back to college but he won't even apply for jobs that I have found for him (he think's working in macdonalds is to menial). I don't want to keep fighting with my partner as I love him so much but I can see this coming in between us. How can we have a 'normal' loving relationship with my son in the house when he is like this? I would be grateful to hear if anyone else is going through this.

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Aug-11 08:20:07

I think it's time for your son to live in a flat with other moody people his own age.

What was he like with his father? Would his father tell you of any problems or would he pretend all was great?

What qualifications does he have? He left home at 18 - was he working from 16-18 or was he in college?

oldenoughtowearpurple Wed 17-Aug-11 08:24:49

What are you and your partner suddenly fighting about? I can see having your son around is tough but why Arent you two pulling together?

MidnightHag Wed 17-Aug-11 08:26:37

Your house. Your rules.
If he's living with you he needs to be sleeping at night and helping out/looking for a job during the day. Switch off the internet at night.
Don't make it comfortable for him, cos he'll have no reason to change his habits.
Good luck.

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