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He's 6 yrs younger - sex is great, but is it enough?

(14 Posts)
greeneyes747 Tue 16-Aug-11 00:27:38

Never had sex like it. But in all other ways he's immature - needy, constantly texting, constantly wanting to see me, insecure, jealous. It all drives me mad. But he's really sweet, genuine and lovely. My kids like him. I've been seeing him for 8 months.

I'm 41 and wondering if I've just turned into a Grumpy Old Woman? I don't want to see someone every day - I only want to see him twice a week or so. I don't want him to know what I do every minute of every day.

But the sex is so good..

Am I being too picky?

lachesis Tue 16-Aug-11 00:29:45

Age has nothing to do with it. The jealousy and possessiveness are MASSIVE red flags. You're not Grumpy Old Woman, he's overly keen and not suitable for you.

The world is too full of good sex to put up with someone whose behaviour is disturbing.

greeneyes747 Tue 16-Aug-11 00:32:11

Wise words Lachesis... you're right he's overly keen. I guess that's been flattering. And my marriage was 23 years of shit sex. Is there really more out there??!!

lachesis Tue 16-Aug-11 00:34:53

No, it's not flattering, it's abnormal and stalkerish. Dump him and find someone else to shag.

greeneyes747 Tue 16-Aug-11 00:41:02

if this were facebook, I'd click 'like' - thanks for the laugh!

jasper Tue 16-Aug-11 01:15:05

I'd stick with it - for two days a week, what's not to like?

Assuming you're not stringing him along with promises of living together/ getting married

solidgoldbrass Tue 16-Aug-11 01:43:53

Have you explained to him that you are not looking for anything serious? Maybe he thinks that 'women love attention' - but if you have told him kindly but firmly to cool it and he isn't listening, then dump now because he's going to get worse, not better.

SageMist Tue 16-Aug-11 08:42:40

My DH is 6 years younger than me. But when we met he wasn't "needy, constantly texting, constantly wanting to see me, insecure, jealous.". If he had been he wouldn't now be my DH.

You obviously want different things from this relationship, can't see it lasting myself.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 16-Aug-11 08:45:09

At your age I don't see that 6 years younger is that big an impact tbh and you could be having great sex with someone with similar maturity levels to you.

ImperialBlether Tue 16-Aug-11 09:44:12

Constantly texting would be enough for me to dump him. Bad enough in a teenage girl, but in a 35 year old man, ffs?

AnyFucker Tue 16-Aug-11 10:08:55

He sounds like a needy, immature fucker whatever his age

As a fuckbuddy, perhaps he'll do. It sounds like he wants more though (or wants to control you more, worryingly)

I wouldn't be introducing blokes like this to my kids though. I think you dropped a clanger there.

boudiccasSideKick Tue 16-Aug-11 15:28:03

Sounds like an ex of min, what's his name? Hence the "ex" bit. He was about 10 years younger than me and, like you, I was flattered at first. The final straw was when I jokingly told him that the BT man was round and younger than him so he'd better watch it. Ex's reply was to accuse me of shagging him! Immature twit and total tosser! Needless to say he was dumped.

greeneyes747 Wed 17-Aug-11 17:00:45

Yes I have been clear that I don't want long term anything. if I could keep it to 2wice a week that would suit me. But he constantly pushes for more.

And introducing to the kids - agree, but I had a house move and it just kind of happened during the chaos. Ah well, can't turn the clock back.

Huge alarm bells ringing now....

solidgoldbrass Wed 17-Aug-11 22:27:44

Ok, dump, firmly but kindly. However, if he resists being dumped and starts being troublesome don't be afraid or embarrassed to threaten him with the police and INVOLVE them if necessary. Of course he may well just flounce off with a few petulant remarks about 'bitches' and 'not being able to deal with a real relationship' which can be safely ignored. Being too pushy and needy sometimes just means a person is pathetic rather than dangerous, but it's always best to get rid of him/her before s/he really sickens you: desperation is so unattractive.

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