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would you be annoyed with your partner?

(11 Posts)
needmoremoney Sun 14-Aug-11 21:05:18

I'm feeling really annoyed with him right now. We live together, he has 2 children from previous marriage I have 2, for months I have been trying to organise holidays, wanting to know if he wanted to go on a family holiday altogether or seperate or what. Also my ex has my children all next week as he's taking them on holiday, I've known about this for months and so has partner. I suggested we went away even for a few days, or a day out, waited and waited, found some deals on the web. I probably could of forced him to book something, but well I didn't really want to force him. I just don't understand why the 1 free week I have a year with no kids, why he doesn't want to spend any of it with me :-( ! He even suggested he'd have his kids that week, so its not like he can't get the time off! I just don't get it, would u be annoyed or feel let down, or am I being a tad over sensitive???

GabrieleJ Sun 14-Aug-11 21:30:20

I'm sorry I would be disappointed, I don't think you're over reacting I think alone time in a relationship is very important.

If it's any consolation my husband is clueless as well. Few months ago I kept hinting him that I'd love some time on our own without our 4year old. And he sort of said it be nice to do something together but it never happend. Then one day I just felt fed up and told him that I think we need time alone! And that if he doesn't understand that for few days I don't want to pick after everyone else he's an idiot blush

Just tell him how you feel, maybe he actually is clueless that you were expecting something romantic...

FabbyChic Sun 14-Aug-11 22:09:59

I'd think fuck it shows how much he cares which he clearly does not, you really are not that important to him that he can be bothered to spend time with you when you have no children.

Think about it, most men would jump at the chance to spend time with their partner when there are no children about, think of how lovely it would be just the two of you together.

What has he done about it? Fuck all because honey he means more to you than you mean to him.

Time to move on and find someone who does feel you are important enough to spend time with when you have no children.

Go away on your own for a few days whilst you can.

meditrina Sun 14-Aug-11 22:24:12

I can see exactly why you're frustrated and feel let down.

But set against that, you are with a man who wants to be a good father and with his children. That's worth something.

But the children will grow up and move away, and if you want this man for life (not clear from OP if this is a big storm brewing, or temporary bad weather), then he needs to come to see that he needs to invest time and energy in you two as a couple as well. You've discovered he doesn't get it automatically. So the next question is, how is he most persuadable? Is he just a bit bogged down with parenthood and not thinking - if so, how do you best get him to think? Or do you suspect a deeper malaise?

ChippingIn Sun 14-Aug-11 22:27:50

How long have you been together?

I would be taking a serious look at the relationship tbh. It sounds like he's really not that into you... neither of you have the kids that week and he's not jumping at the chance to spend some quality time together hmm

needmoremoney Mon 15-Aug-11 10:11:25

I know ridiculous isn't it. We've been together 2 and a half years, I'm taking my 2 away on my own, because he couldn't get his act together. Not really what I want I would of prefered to go away as a family, but he doesn't understand. He said he was taking his away on his own, when I suggested we came, he wasn't keen as said the children are different ages and mine would be following his etc. Thats what made me book mine, he by the way never got around to booking anything!

I have tried to finish it a few times, because as someone said, he just doesn't seem THAT into me :-(. He insists he is and then makes me feel needy, which is why I asked you if I was being over sensitive. There's many examples of this sort of thing over the last few years, and yes I am seriously looking at our relationship, as just over 2 years isn't that long in the scale of things, just not sure I want to be with someone who can't give me what I want. Thanks for clarifying I'm not just being over sensitive.

lazarusb Mon 15-Aug-11 19:40:21

He doesn't sound like he likes your dcs very much either sad Maybe the time has come to cut your losses and move on.

needmoremoney Mon 15-Aug-11 20:50:36

I think your probably right!!!!!

needmoremoney Mon 22-Aug-11 14:51:32

I'm just a bit down about this again, as I saw his family over the the weekend, and I get the feeling I have been discussed alot, I think they think its awful I'm going away with the kids on my own and not taking oh with me. They don't know the full story though, but its obvious they've been discussing me just hurts thats all, anyway not long before I go and I've really got to have a plan with this, he doesn't make me happy!!!!!!!!

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Mon 22-Aug-11 14:54:22

Did you put his family right?

Is he the sort of man who needs you to organise him normally?

needmoremoney Mon 22-Aug-11 14:54:28

Sorry forgot to say as he didn't get his act together and wanted to take his children away on his own and not invite us, nor wanted to take me away anywere when we were kid free. I decided to book a holiday for myself and the kids, as I felt I needed a holiday and he didn't bother to do anything!!

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