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Had an awful and wierd date last night. Confidence blown.

(68 Posts)
PoorMeAnother Sun 14-Aug-11 18:50:18

Sorry I am a regular poster but this was just too embarrassing and have name changed. Will change back after.

Some of you may recognise me, divorced 2 years, seperated 3. Ex was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive and I have been single ever since. Only just after having spoken on here about gettingback in the dating scene have I plucked up the courage to get out there again. Because of my work I don't meet many people so joined a dating website. Got talking to a bloke who seemed great and after much deliberation I agreed to meet him. Idea was that we'd meet for a quick drink and if all was ok there we'd go to cinema and maybe for a bite to eat afterwards.

So we meet for a drink, I liked him straight away, he was kind, funny and good looking. We had one drink each and then headed for the cinema. He bought us both a bucket of popcorn each. We sat down then it all descended into what I imagined to be a candid camera show. The first advert came on and he dug his hands into popcorn and threw a huge handful of it in his own face shock I asked why he'd done that and he said very loudly "I fucking love the stuff" before doing it again. I just looked away and started eating my own popcorn (was feeling uncomfortable at this point and just wanted to do something with my hands iyswim?) and he started making OTT chomping and slurping noises and then started grunting and shoving huge handfuls of popcorn into his mouth so bits were falling out as he couldn't shut his mouth and then he started making ridiculous burps (tongue hanging out, eye wide etc) and everyone kept turning around to laugh at him. So I was just about to set a fake call on my phone to get out of it and he seemed to calm down and stopped doing it and sat really quiet and started eating properly. I went to the toilets, called my friend and told her what he'd been doing and she said he was probably just nervous and trying to make me laugh and I should give him another chance. I went back in and he was still acting normal. The film finished. We went outside and he was asking where I wanted to go for something to eat, I was still considering calling it a night at this point but reluctantly agreed to go across the road to a little pub place that served food. We got in there, started up convrsation with a waitress who said she was going to see the film we'd just seen and he said "oh I'll save you the bother - " and spoilt the entire story.

Anyway to top it all off the meal arrived and he picked up his chicken breast, started making chicken sqwarking noises with it and then chucked the full thing onto the table beside us and said he was going to complain as it was still alive and flying around. I made excuses and left quickly. Got home, called my friend and just burst into tears sad I now feel I'm so bloody hidious that all I'll ever attract is wierdos and freaks. I'm also concerned that this guy knows where I live and I'm frightened he really is nuts.

I don't know whether to take my profile off the site (PoF for those that know it) , report him to the site (although I don't know what I'd actually report him for) or sign up somewhere else or simply just forget the whole thing.

buzzsore Sun 14-Aug-11 18:57:39

Really?

Um, well, he sounds like he has a very odd sense of humour or that he was doing it for a bet.

If he gets in touch, tell him you're not interested.

I shouldn't think he's a stalker or dangerous, but be prepared to report him if he bothers you.

Don't be put off by this guy, I reckon in a while you'll laugh about it. It'll be a funny story to tell.

Just make sure you don't tell people where you live too soon next time.

adamschic Sun 14-Aug-11 19:02:51

Sorry but I laughed at the chicken incident.

Put it down to experience and just ignore him if he gets in touch. I'm on POF and don't bother with most of the guys on there, will if any of them sound to good to miss. Feel I will be waiting a while.

Don't take it personally and let it put you off.

lubeybooby Sun 14-Aug-11 19:02:54

Don't be put off by one experience! You will learn as you go along which charachters are actually ok, and which are not. The whole thing is a big learning curve.

I would urge you not to bother too much with pof though, there are far more idiots on there. Go for okcupid.com instead.

Also I think maybe you need to adjust your thinking a bit here - why would him being a total twat mean you are hideous? HE is the problem, not you! Maybe just take some time out and work on your confidence and how you think a bit, because honestly this is no reflection you at all. Every person I know (all funny, attractive, independent women) have had some very very bad... tragic dates. Including me.

ImperialBlether Sun 14-Aug-11 19:03:51

What a lunatic! I would report him to the site, definitely.

Did he think he was being funny?

I would have been scared, when he was eating like that (in the film) and would have left then. I wouldn't have given him the opportunity to eat the chicken!

ImperialBlether Sun 14-Aug-11 19:05:18

And the way he said "I fucking love the stuff" loudly - god, I'd be out of there.

It's no reflection on you, OP - he's just barking mad.

ImperialBlether Sun 14-Aug-11 19:05:35

He didn't say he had a GSOH on his profile, did he?

rubyrubyruby Sun 14-Aug-11 19:06:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoorMeAnother Sun 14-Aug-11 19:10:20

I think I had built my hopes up on this one more than I should have done to be honest. I was so sure we'd hit it off. I'm not sure if he thought he was funny or if he was deliberatly trying to put me off.

Is it worth paying for the "pay" sites? do they tend to be much better?

Imperial he said he has a "brutal" sense of humour. Guess I should have taken clues from that!

geraldinetheluckygoat Sun 14-Aug-11 19:12:29

WOW!! What a freak!! op, it's his problem, not yours he sounds utterly bonkers. You will laugh about this one day...

ImperialBlether Sun 14-Aug-11 19:13:05

Imagine her eyeing her next date so carefully.

"No, no, I don't like films."

No, I don't like restaurants."

"PUT THAT CHICKEN DOWN!"

adamschic Sun 14-Aug-11 19:14:23

I would avoid anyone who said they had a GSOH (let alone brutal). I will be the judge of that when we meet.

I've been on a pay site, met some nice guys, but no-one special. You get your fair share of weirdos whether you pay for it for not.

Don't let people know where you live until you decide they are worth seeing.

lubeybooby Sun 14-Aug-11 19:14:33

I've paid for match.com before but got a refund because it was rubbish - not enough men pay and so they can only 'wink' at you not send a proper message. Useless.

Try not to build up any hopes before you've met someone in the flesh, you never ever can tell until you have. As I said before though it's a learning curve and this is stuff you will get used to spotting as you go along.

Okcupid is all free and is more modern with a bit more class.

TheMonster Sun 14-Aug-11 19:16:50

You really shouldn't be telling them where you live, but I suppose you know that.

You can't report him for being a bit, erm, odd.

Put it down to experience and try the next one!

26minutes Sun 14-Aug-11 19:24:09

Oh dear! Well they can only get better!

I used PoF, had some truly awful dates, but met some great blokes too. I wouldn't bother with the pay sites tbh I didn't find them any good whatsoever. PoF was definitely the best although you do have to give it a break from time to time. I don't think he did anything to report hom for tbh, brush it off, have a laugh about it. Maybe just stick to drinks for other dates, easier to get out of if the date is a bit weird.

adamschic Sun 14-Aug-11 19:27:41

Will agree with others, just meet for a quick drink first time, even if you like them. I stick to 2 hrs at the most.

NorkyButNice Sun 14-Aug-11 19:43:49

He sounds very strange! Certainly no reflection on you though.

I met DH through an online dating site 7 years ago (match.com I think) so it can work! I certainly wouldn't go and sit in the dark next to a virtual stranger on a first date - much better to be out in a busyish bar where you can escape after one drink if necessary (not to mention avoiding groping in the dark).

Stick with it though - there are decent men out there!

KnickersOnOnesHead Sun 14-Aug-11 19:51:56

Try not to be put off by it. I'm on pof too, have yet to have a date though and this kind of thing is what I am trying to avoid!

Bluebelle38 Sun 14-Aug-11 19:53:46

Oh gawd.

My first thought is he really can't control his drink. I had a housemate like this. We were going to see a play and he had a pint before we went in and then just started saying really weird stuff and going on about the great beer buzz he got and was regaling weird stories. He was not like this normally.

Don't let it put you off Pourmeanother.

You will look back and laugh at this - and him.

FabbyChic Sun 14-Aug-11 20:11:17

Get a grip on reality, report him to the site don't be so ridiculous.

He was just a loon.

Seeing as you are on a free site you are going to be meeting the weird and wonderful. The only way to meet someone half decent is on a paying site as they are serious about it all.

Someone on a free site just see's it as a night out. He did not put on any airs and graces so what. Probably being funny and not your kind of funny.

Bluebelle38 Sun 14-Aug-11 20:14:01

His sense of humour is pretty pathetic and immature (unless he was 14)

Just saying...

flatbellyfella Sun 14-Aug-11 20:19:06

Maybe mumsnet should start a dating site ,
Anyone ever posted that they met on here?

Gay40 Sun 14-Aug-11 20:25:18

It could have been nerves. My friend had a date with a guy she really liked, and he put a condom on and danced around as if it was a lightsaber. Even I was embarassed when she told me, and I wasn't even there. She thought he was a silly c**t, but gave him the benefit of the doubt several weeks later. They got married last year.
Or you just met a total weirdo but they won't all be x

chris123456 Sun 14-Aug-11 20:36:21

People were moaning last month about single blokes, so I did the decent thing and volunteered myself. Any takers? Not one!

ThatVikRinA22 Sun 14-Aug-11 20:42:07

he could today be groaning with his head in his hands....at least you found out he was a twat on your first date!

put it down to experience and move on! you might laugh about this in a few days....youve got to kiss a few frogs remember!

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