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Who do you turn to for advice etc? DH? Friend? Family?

(6 Posts)
Ratata Sat 13-Aug-11 00:15:13

Just a general wondering. I have suffered from OCD, hair pulling, anxiety, self harm, depression and all those fun things since age 15 (27 now). Had counselling at 18 and that tackled the OCD and hair pulling and pretty much got over it. Had meds on and off too. Second counsellor I had in uni, did help. Then I had another counsellor at 24. Didn't help at all because there are things from my past I just can't talk about. The only person I have told EVERYTHING to is my fiance as I felt he should know these things.

Fiance knows me inside out. I'm over my depression and just got anxiety left. When I worry about silly things I tell my fiance and he knows exactly how to deal with it and make me feel better and calm and relaxed. Then I start to worry, if he died, I would be so heart broken (I worry about death a lot). I worry how I would cope because I feel I couldn't ever open up to anyone about the things he knows.

I worry that by relying on him to be like a counsellor to me, that in the end it could be a bad thing? We don't have like sessions or anything, just if things are bumming me out, I always go to him because he understands more than anyone else. Maybe I'm being stupid and it's the anxiety playing up :-/

Just wondered who other people lean on? Is it your other half?

PonceyMcPonce Sat 13-Aug-11 00:22:59

Well you always be able to lean on your other half, but a person needs to learn to be a bit self reliant too.

I share some stuff with friends, some with sisters, some with boss, some with diary and I do a good stew on things too.

matthew2002smum Sat 13-Aug-11 00:51:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazarusb Sat 13-Aug-11 13:48:51

I go to DH, then my brother. They are the 2 people in my life that would do anything for me and vice versa. Significantly, they are also honest and won't just tell me what I want to hear which is invaluable. I rarely go to my parents. I have a few friends who are fabulous too. I am very lucky, hasn't always been like that.

wotabouttheworkers Sat 13-Aug-11 14:59:09

I rely on myself, unless that is impossible (e.g. if the issue involves plumbing or electricity). I am an only child and both my parents are dead. The rest of the family comprises cousins, the youngest of whom are in their late 60s and who live at least six hours drive away. Realising that I could rely on myself was a revelation. Works for me - far better than couselling, anti-deps etc (did all that and the self reliance works far better). It took me far too long to realize it, though.

wicketkeeper Sat 13-Aug-11 19:30:16

DH every time. No brothers or sisters, parents too quick to stress out/be shocked etc (and really a bit too old now too). He gives good sensible advice and space to talk through my problems and clarify my own thinking. And I do the same for him. But I agree, you also have to be able to help yourself.

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