And I can't believe I've done it and he doesn't seem to think I'm serious.
I dont want to go into all the reasons as I feel far too fragile to thnk about much at all.
We've been through a lot though including violence and emotional abuse. (him to me)
The crux of the matter is that he went away to work last year without my agreeing....and he wants to do it again and he wants us to move abroad right now with him and the DC and I really dont want to.
My fear of the kids being estranged from him has kept me with him basically. He's not from this country and he will go back home if we're over and it's on the other side of the world....they wont know their Dad basically. They're 7 and 3.
He won't stay as he says he can earn more at home...this was what broke the camels back....today he said "if I get offered a job with enough money I am going."
And so I said "right then we're over"
He was shocked and obviously doesn't believ me.
When returned last year I said I would try again only if he never accepted more work abroad uness we were coming too... and I would not go abroad with him until we had managed to live peacefully together for a year.
He says this is me putting off moving abroad and it's not...its me trying to see if we can actually get on...without fighting. I wont go there to live with him whilst I dont trust him basically
I am so sad and numb but a tiny corner of me is happy...or maybe it's relieved. I feel a bit free. I have told him that he can stay until he finds this marvelous job abroad. We own nothing and have no money at all so he can't exctly take anything. We ae in a rental in his name but I think the landlord will happily put my name on too....we've had this place for 5 years now.
I cant face telling my family and friends I fee worried about it all. When he went last year for ten months it as awful. I felt so aone and the kids missed him. But every day I am waking up in fear....fear of him going and fear of his moods....its not good for the DC.....I feel like I'm out of the frying pan into the fire.
I wanted this on here so that I can look back and remember why I ha finished it....incase he weakens me. H doesn't beleve me I know he thinks I will come around and then he will put the pressure on me again.
APart from all this I do have love for him. He is a very good Father and the DC adore him.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I've ended it with DH today
VeryVeryVeryNumb · 12/08/2011 17:45
This reply has been deleted
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.