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Are all men pathetic or just the ones I attract?

(11 Posts)
MilkandWine Thu 11-Aug-11 17:16:14

Bit of a ranty, self-pitying post so please bare with me.

I've recently moved to London from NE after end of a 4 year relationship. I really want to make the most of London, go out, meet new people and so on. I'm a bit of a party girl given the chance truth be told.

Anyway I had arranged to meet up Saturday before last with a guy I vaguely knew years ago at Uni. Just for a drink nothing more. Well I ended up having the best time I've had in ages and didn't get in until 3am (out from 7pm) He came back to mine and stayed (we kissed but nothing else). He was full of 'Your so lovely' blah, blah, blah and was really wearing his heart on his sleeve. Against my better judgement considering my heart is battered to bits I've found myself really liking him. He is so much my type it's scary, we have ridiculous amounts in common. He kept going on about how much he wanted to see me again. We were both busy during week though and I went home last weekend. He said he really wanted to see me when I got back and that he hoped I wanted to see him as well. I got back late Monday and he was texting me on the Tuesday saying he hoped we could meet up asap. I told him to let me know when he was free (he's a runner and runs nearly every night during week for ridiculous amounts of time). He said that he would let me know, so basically the ball is in his court.

Thus far I've heard bugger all back from him and I would like to know if I'm being unreasonable in being a bit pissed off/disappointed?. I genuinely didn't even go out with him in first place intending for anything to happen. The fact that he's made me really like him and now isn't exactly rushing to arrange to see me again is really annoying. I know it's only Thursday but it's such bad manners imo! Especially when he was making it clear he really liked me on the night (or was pretending to anyway)I know my own worth and there's no way I'm getting back in touch with him first but for gods sake, why are men so useless and spineless? Just really disappointed, all my instincts always scream at me not to trust anyone if I think I might like them and it looks like they are right again.

weejimmykrankie Thu 11-Aug-11 18:22:52

Chill! He's maybe busy at work/ trying to fit in his training runs, hasn't noticed the time go by... Plus second date is always a but intimidating when the first has gone so well, he's probably a bit nervous. I am normally a great believer in the He's Just Not That Into You philosophy of not making excuses when a guy is not doing the running but I think at this early stage it's acceptable.

Why don't you give him a ring rather than text or email? You have both lost momentum a bit with you being away, an actual chat may remind him what fun you had. If he's still less than keen, when you talk just move on. Let's face it, if you are this recently out of a relationship this one probably wasn't going to be The One anyway.

Let us know how it goes..

ameliagrey Thu 11-Aug-11 18:28:29

I am a bit worrried about you saying to him "Let me know when you are free..."

Possibly you gave a mixed message?

it could be that he interpreted this as you being cool ( and I mean not interested) OR it could have given the impression that you are sitting twiddling your thumbs waiting for him to find time in his busy week for you- which is a bit sad from your perspective.

On the other hand.oh is JUST possible that the magic of that night has worn off and he is not as keen as you ( or he) thought he was.

This is 2011. Pick up the phone and ask him out this ONCE. If he hesitates or makes an excuse, leave it. if he takes the bait and you have another great night- lovely. But after that make him do the running next time.

SingleMan25b Thu 11-Aug-11 18:38:42

He won't have realised you've created all this backstory about a single meeting. If you want to go out with him for a drink or more call him.

anothermum92 Thu 11-Aug-11 18:47:19

Message withdrawn

SingleMan25b Thu 11-Aug-11 18:49:50

anothermum92 who told such secret man knowledge? You have the best answer.

anothermum92 Thu 11-Aug-11 19:02:11

Message withdrawn

piano10 Fri 12-Aug-11 11:55:23

Re: "let me know wen ur free", , , ,Saying that has given him all the control and power. He is just so into his time for much else. He cant want to see you that much or it would have happened by now....

mumsamilitant Fri 12-Aug-11 12:46:03

Deep breaths. You said "let me know when you're free" and I'm sure he will. Of course he said squillions of lovely things to you - hasn't got in your knickers yet! But I will say if you like having lots of contact with a man, ie. texting and talking, he may not be the one. Not saying this because its wrong, just because you wrote you were getting a bit peeved after not hearing from him in 2 days.

ameliagrey Fri 12-Aug-11 13:43:01

Anyway I had arranged to meet up Saturday before last with a guy......

if it was the Saturday before last (one) then that makes it 10 days pretty much, to Tuesday.

TrillianAstra Fri 12-Aug-11 13:49:41

All men are not pathetic.

Either the ones you attract are, or you think they are, but all men most certainly are not. The same way that there is no way to describe "all women".

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