Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

"Step dad" Making it awkward for me to see mum

(10 Posts)
Mummystootired Thu 11-Aug-11 14:22:04

I don't want to go into all the details but the basics of it are that if I don't do what stepdad wants then he gets the hump. Then I feel like I don't want to go round to see mum when he is there. Which isn't fair. He has been doing this for years now. We get along for a while then something will happen and he will decide to get a mood on about it. it can sometimes go on for weeks his mood. He is so childish cause its always some trivial crap that he has got in a mood about. What should I do?
I still want to see my mum but I feel if I just didn't bother seeing her anymore I wouldn't have to see him.
I really wish my dad was still alive then I wouldn't have all this shit going on.

Mummystootired Thu 11-Aug-11 15:01:22

Please help someone, I can't be the only one who has an awkward situation!
can I?sadhmm

franke Thu 11-Aug-11 15:03:19

You need to talk to your mother about it.

SinicalSal Thu 11-Aug-11 15:05:48

can your mum call to you instead?
Is she giving in to his moods?

onadifferentplanettoday Thu 11-Aug-11 15:09:13

Can you arrange to meet you mother somewhere else or to take her out shopping or do something he won't want to do. I had a very difficult similar situation with my mother and in the end it got totally out of hand and her new partner told her it was him or us and sadly she chose him and I have not seen or spoken to her now for over two years, he answers the phone and monitors her emails and refuses us entry to their house so we have no way of contacting her . You need to deal with it now and not leave it to develop into what happened in our situation.

cuddlysmurf Thu 11-Aug-11 15:19:04

My step dad can also be a bit awkward sometimes. Mum knows this and is keen to spend time with her adult kids. We usually manage this quite well by having her around to babysit (when he can't manage), or just by going for some shopping. Would this approach work for you?

Mummystootired Thu 11-Aug-11 15:30:12

onadifferentplanettoday I feel for you not seeing your mum for so long.
It's a horrible situation isn't it. My mums boyfriend( I called him "stepdad" in original post, just cause it's shorter) always answers the phone too if he is there. He is very controlling and likes to get his own way. He works nights so we could try and visit when he isn't there. But he always makes mum feel guilty if he doesn't get to see the kids, but then that is his fault for being a moody sod! He is good at playing mind games with people.

Mummystootired Thu 11-Aug-11 15:35:03

Thanks everyone else for you'r replies. I think I might ring her later when he's gone to work and see if we can visit while he's not there

mamas12 Thu 11-Aug-11 18:27:14

phone and visit when he's not there. Just ignore him and if he plays up with your mum you can then point out how unfair his behaviour is to not 'allow ' a woman to see her own children.

HerHissyness Thu 11-Aug-11 20:42:36

What does this guy get the hump about, that he asks/expects and you don't do? Why don't YOU tell him you'll do whay suits you, and how he deals with it is his problem... Was the only way with my mum's H.

Be the adult, not the child, command respect in your own right, if he's mistreating your mum, that's another issue, she has to deal with that herself.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now