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'you don't make much effort in your personal appearance anymore'

(21 Posts)
bbface Sun 07-Aug-11 22:11:04

It is true. I have let myself go. Intend to start looking after myself more I.e. bit of waxing, sort out my nails, have a hair cut (after years!). Anyway, just wondering about others. Could you pls tell me what you do to make yourself look good. Whether it is for yourself or DP/DH. Thanks. Sorry boring thread, but interested to see what.other people do... slob or sexy?

cjbartlett Sun 07-Aug-11 22:12:21

Did your partner say that? Unless he looks like Brad Pitt I'd tell him to eff off

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA Sun 07-Aug-11 22:15:34

Definitely slob casual smile

If it was your DH/DP that said that - how much effort does he make?? (and what stage of babies/children are you at?). Though cheeky fucker would be lucky to still be standing if he'd made that comment to me - kids or no kids!

Anniegetyourgun Sun 07-Aug-11 22:17:33

XH used to get quite upset if I paid attention to my appearance. He was sure I would get followed by men whose advances I would, of course, be powerless to resist. He was especially upset when I went on one of my periodic diet and exercise kicks, did a lot to discourage me - and then commented that he didn't like fat people.


bbface Sun 07-Aug-11 22:17:46

No, sister. Not said nastily. I am aware of this. Not a big deal at all. Simply interested about what other mumsnetters do I.e. some look after themselves as they did before DCs? Some do nothing? What do their DHs like? Etc

CristinaTheAstonishing Sun 07-Aug-11 22:17:52

Usual stuff for work, keep make up on (or what's left of it) when getting home. I threw away a pair of "house trousers" my husband hated. I put some make-up on at weekends at home too. Just now I'm dying my hair and waiting for the colour to develop.

Pigglesworth Sun 07-Aug-11 22:18:22

It's not about looking like Brad Pitt, it's about taking pride in your appearance regardless of whether or not you're in a long-term relationship and can "take a partner for granted". I think that's important.

As for myself - I haven't changed anything about my self-presentation/ self-care habits since beginning my relationship of 5 years. Although I have gained a bit of weight (still in the normal weight range though). I look after my appearance for myself. Definitely not a slob, definitely not "always trying to look sexy" - just decent self-presentation!

itsnotpossibleisit Sun 07-Aug-11 22:19:49

I just do enough for me to fell good with myself although I have recently separated from ExP. Sometimes I have time and I manage to do more but other times I do not have time to do even my mustache so I try not to think to much about it. I think I am sexy anyway grin

aquos Sun 07-Aug-11 22:23:46

My dad said it to me once a long time ago because I'd not painted my toe nails. shock. He's been dead for a decade. Goodness knows what he'd make of me now.

My kids are 10 and 11 and after many years in the self care wilderness I'm just starting to pay myself some time and attention.

upahill Sun 07-Aug-11 22:24:30

TBH if I had let myself go a bit I would expect my DH to mention it (albeit in a tactful way) and I would do to him.
I think he would be alarmed if I turned into Waynetta Slob without there being a reason such as depression, major trauma in my life etc and he would/has supported me with this. (and vice versa)

Any way I like to look nice for myself, for my family (including my husband and children) and for work.

I get my hair done every 6 weeks
I have HD eyebrows and my lashes permed and tinted.
I exercise
I always were perfume and some make up.
I make an effort with decent clothes.
I have a full leg, bikini, and underarm wax and have a facial oncce every 2 months.

If there is a special event coming up I get my nails done professionaly and may have a spray tan.
I have my lip and chin threaded.

I feel so much better when I do this.
I was severely ill for a few months towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year and I didn't do all my rituals. However once I started getting better it helped my mind to feel better.

Dh makes an effort for me. I would hate to be with someone that didn't.

teenyweenytadpole Sun 07-Aug-11 22:24:37

I must admit that personal grooming is less than it was when we were in the first flush of romance! I do tend to live in jeans and casual clothes, also casual for work. I have also put on weight. But I always wear some make up, do my hair, and wear clean things unless gardening or decorating in which case anything goes! I do also always have my toenails done (at least in the summer) and try to keep hairy legs etc under control. Yes it is partly for DH but also for me, I just look tired and washed out without a bit of slap on. In the good old days I would spend all day getting ready for a date but then I had no kids or other responsiblities then!

bbface Sun 07-Aug-11 22:33:47

Thanks so much for this. Yes, I feel better too when I have made an effort. I think my sis commented because I used to be very into my appearance. I spent a fortune on hair, nails, spray tan etc. Since DS arrived, it has taken a back seat. No weight problem (otherwise perhaps a tad scrawny) just during the day I find to hard to find the time to get make up sorted and hair nice. It is always pulled back in a ponytail. As for clothes, I have a fabulous work wardrobe, but now a SAHM, my uniform day in and day out is jeans and t-shirt. DH makes an effort for me and I feel crap that I nave started to think, oh sod it re. The make up etc. But going to get back into the swing of it, for me more than anyone else. DH likes the natural casual look, so def no pressure from him.

heleninahandcart Mon 08-Aug-11 00:21:46

hair done every 6 weeks, then leave it natural no blow drying/faffing.
pedicure myself, then have toe nails professionally polished once a month.
always make sure I file my hand nails, will get prof polish if special event.
eyebrows/full face threaded once a month.
shave legs/armpits in summer.
trim lady garden, full bikini wax before holidays.
underwear that makes my happy depending on my mood.
blusher in daytime unless alone in house
Attention to dress, very casual unless going out to something special
live in fitflops at home for shops etc

no one, ever, sees me in my tights.

bubaluchy Mon 08-Aug-11 08:15:08

I buy new underwear every few months, I use Liz Earle toner and moisturiser on my face, it gives a very natural glow and is all natural ingredients, mascara and eyeliner, earings, chanel perfume and I go to the gym, I try to eat healthily to keep my energy levels up, good luck it only takes a new top or something to feel like 'the new you' smile

bellavita Mon 08-Aug-11 08:26:19

I do this for me.

My nails/toenails are always manicured and painted.
Wear make-up and perfume - even if just in the house.
Hair is always cut every 6 weeks and coloured/highlighted every 3 months.
I watch what I eat.
Buy less clothes but nicer ones.
Legs, underarms and bikini always hair free.
Exfoliate and moisturise with each daily shower/bath.
Always use face and eye cream.

Malificence Mon 08-Aug-11 11:25:52

I'm definitely in the ungroomed camp ( although I do dye my hair as it's very dark and the grey really shows up) - the only time I really bother is when we go on holiday, then it's exfoliator a go-go, painted toe nails etc.

DH fancies me just as much when I haven't shaved my pits or legs for a month as he does when I'm freshly de-fuzzed, as long as I'm clean, smell nice and my hair is ok, that's enough for me.
I never wear make up, bar tinted moisturiser sometimes, but I have to look after my skin as it's very dry and now I'm over 45 I go for the anti aging creams and they do make a difference, my skin has never been better, it's just the menopausal sweats that make me look like a tomato! angry
Day to day I live in "smart" sweat pants/yoga pants and vest tops/t-shirts, weekends I'm in "outdoorsy" stuff like linen trousers and shirts, I very rarely wear skirts/dresses, I'd say I rate about 2 out of 10 for effort overall, DH looks good in anything envy but I do hate it when he hasn't shaved for a few days, it makes him look really scruffy.

upahill Mon 08-Aug-11 11:57:00

bbface your second post asked if MN looked after themselves as sthey did before DC

I would say I do probably more now but that is only because I've got older and need more doing grin

However I've always had beauty treatments. Indeed before I went into hospital to have ds 1 and 2 I made sure that I had my hair highlighted and cut, eyelashes were tinted and eybrows were done.

I had my make up and perfume with me and even had my bikini area waxed.

My reasoning was the photos last for a long time and everyone see's them.

(vain?? who me? Dead right!!!! grin )

Meglet Mon 08-Aug-11 12:07:03

I try and keep myself presentable and I've been single for over 2 years with no intention of finding another parter for many years yet but.....

Legs / bikini waxed every month, I have someone come to my house to do it which is cheaper and can be done when the kids are in bed.

Hair trimmed every 2/3 months, it's long so doesn't need too much upkeep.

Toe nails always painted.

Finger nailed buffed and sometimes use the clear nail whitener polish.

Tweeze eyebrows while supervising the dc's baths.

Gym at least once a week (used to go 6 times before dc's).

Perfume every day. Rarely any make up though.

I really don't want to end up looking like Mrs Twit so I force myself to make an effort. I don't like getting old either sad.

I wear primark pj's at home but have a fairly decent wardrobe of jeans and neutral / smart clothes that mix and match well for outside the house.

Jajas Mon 08-Aug-11 12:07:08

I look after myself as it makes me feel good as well as I'm sure making my DH happy although he has never commented as such.

highlights once every 6 weeks
make up every day, makes no difference whatsoever if I'm staying in or not
wash hair and blow dry every day
usually wear nice clothes, although that can be jeans and a top but will be a nice top and decent jeans
always wear perfume - every day
always wear jewellery

I could do with taking up some regular excercise though as I'm rather untoned blush

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions Mon 08-Aug-11 15:42:18

Usually blow dry hair so it doesn't look like a dog's dinner
Dye it every 4-6 weeks and cut every 3 months or so

Shave legs when they get too bad/if I'm going to wear something that shows them

Fanjo topiary when it gets ridiculously overgrown (disclaimer, this is when I was with H, now I'm single it's a bit different!)

Wear clean, nice and flattering clothes (ie no slobbing about in trackies all day)

Touch of make up every day, not a full face of slap. Pluck tache and whatnot.

I do this for me, never did it for a bloke in my life (well apart from fanjo topiary I suppose, though I do keep it up when I'm single)

LuckyMrsT Mon 08-Aug-11 16:57:30

Ooh I love one of these! You should have posted in Style and Beauty, you'd have had loads of advice.

Hair highlighted and trimmed every 3-4 months - a bit less often than I should but I get away with it I think.

Eyebrows shaped every 2 months and kept tidy in between.

Pits and legs kept shaved.

Bikini waxed and trimmed by my own fair hand as often as needed to keep it in check.

Make up and perfume every day.

Toenails painted in a bright colour, fingernails clear.

Body moisturiser head to toe every day after showering.

Excercise postponed mostly due to newish DS and BFing but I intend to start again once he's weaned.

Nice knickers! I force myself to chuck out any that are too 'comfy' so I'm not tempted grin.

I do this for me AND for DH - there is nothing wrong with making an effort for your man I reckon.

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