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Which type of stalker did you encounter?

(25 Posts)
want2sleep Thu 04-Aug-11 23:40:18

After Gaslighting I quickly realised what my ex was doing was stalking!! After all this time thinking stalking was for celebs or women who just broke it off with an ex who was jealous...I was mistaken!

The different types of stalkers are listed below:

Rejected Stalker
Resentful Stalker
Predatory Stalker
Intimacy Seeker
Incompetent Suitor
Erotomaniac and Morbidly Infatuated

My ex seems to be the resentful or vengence stalker...actually the least harmful I think shock it is tit for tat accept mostly his tat all the time as paranoid I am trying to hurt him hmm

What stalker is your ex...???

BelleDameSansMerci Thu 04-Aug-11 23:50:27

Is there an egotistical tosser stalker?

want2sleep Thu 04-Aug-11 23:54:39

ohh I think that could overlap BellaDame with resentful/Erotomaniac/Predatatory...ego= psychopath or narc (its all about me)

want2sleep Thu 04-Aug-11 23:58:29

Each one has a different approach/behaviour/outcome

Glad I aint got the Predatatory = hunter, aggressive likely to attack and or rape sad

Mind you some of the others if left get very dangerous ie resentful one can get worse....I didnt think you could get worse than a warning of a petrol bomb to start with mind you!

BelleDameSansMerci Fri 05-Aug-11 00:01:01

Bloody hell... I've had a few delusional arses making stupid threats but nothing as scary as that.

want2sleep Fri 05-Aug-11 00:11:12

hence the name BellaDame I sadly fell for a psychopath they do actions not say themsad

want2sleep Fri 05-Aug-11 00:21:49

At this point i must add:

Cyberstalker

there isnt much research yet on this one...but what I heard very dangerous too! Not only for fraud idendity fraud but for going on FB and making you out like a bunny boiler (like KungFu troll said)

That fictional account was such a good example on all levels lol!

garlicbutter Fri 05-Aug-11 01:37:03

I was dead lucky. I was being watched by that serial rapist in South London, but saw him outside my house one night and called the police. They were round like a shot, but he got away - at that time they knew who he was but hadn't any evidence to arrest him.

Years earlier, I had a phone stalker - very scary, it was obvious he could see me leaving and coming home. Called the cops that time, too - they were incredibly unhelpful until a neighbour shared a rumour that the man across the road from them had been violent towards women. I told the police. Don't know what happened, but the calls stopped.

So those two were predatory <shudders> My ex used to follow me, and possibly set me up to cheat on him (I nearly did, but came to what I thought were my senses.) I didn't realise until much later what an absolute nutcase the ex was, and that many odd things make sense if he followed me. Another psych/narc example, then - they don't seem to be in your list!

Where did you get the list from?

moonferret Fri 05-Aug-11 02:51:05

Some women imagine they have a "stalker", so you'll need to add "imagined stalker" to the list.
I knew a woman who worked in a takeaway and because a certain customer came in regularly and was friendly to her, she thought he was "stalking" her. In truth, she was very unattractive, and the customer concerned came in regularly long before she started, and long after she left!

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow Fri 05-Aug-11 07:56:55

hmm at your notion that no right-thinking stalker would pursue an "unattractive" woman, moonferret

moonferret Fri 05-Aug-11 15:21:54

hmm at your apparent belief that I said that. I'm sure unattractive women are stalked, but when the case is already non-existent, it makes it even more laughable when the woman is as described.
Just to clarify for your benefit! <sigh!>

mumsamilitant Fri 05-Aug-11 15:37:12

I had a stalker much like Garlicbutter. Police recon he took a fancy to me (so must have been attractive to him ay) and followed me home. It was the most terrifying experience I have ever had. He used to ring my door bell late at night and hide in the alley by my house. I stayed round friends houses for months at a time but once back, he'd do it again! I eventually moved because of it and found out that he'd actually been put away for rape. Lucky escape huh! Took me years to get over it, practically barricaded myself in at my new place. Had bars on ALL windows for 7 years!

GhoulLasher Fri 05-Aug-11 15:42:49

Intamacy Seeker I think...it was my ex when I was 20. He was older and couldn''t handle me leaving him. He used to appear at the window and on friends doorsteps....he followed me everywhere...I travelled to London on a course and when we came out for a break he was there....some of the lads had to escort him out.

Was awful ...sent flowers and letters and tpes. I saw him about 5 years ago and I ran away.

EldritchCleavage Fri 05-Aug-11 15:47:20

Rejected stalker with a side order of religious mania and salvation complex (just had to save me from going to hell. By shagging me, apparently. Hhmn)

KatieScarlett2833 Fri 05-Aug-11 15:50:20

I had a telephone stalker when I was a teen. Being young I thought it was funny. My parents thought otherwise and got BT and the Police in for a spot of call vetting. You had to answer umpteen security questions to get put through to our phone. I was all hmm at the time, thought my parents were over-reacting, now I understand how frightened they were and how frightened I should have been. Ditto another scenario when my sis and I were flashed by a man in a remote spot aged about 14, we howled with laughter at him and all the way home..... as a teen, clearly I really didn't have a clue.

headfairy Fri 05-Aug-11 15:56:17

I don't know if you would describe this one as a stalker, but after I broke up with one ex I booked myself on a round the world yacht race (I'd always wanted to do one, had some money at the time and no boyfriend at home to stay for).

He booked himself on the same race hmm

Luckily different boat, but I got the last laugh because it cost £20k all told!

MsAnnThroppy Fri 05-Aug-11 16:01:35

Predatory. Twice forced his way into the lobby of my block of flats and attempted to sexually assault me. I had to move house in the end. He moved on to someone else. Then someone else again. It ended up in court. He got off as the evidence was flawed and the judge had to tell the jury to discount it (police incompetence, basically).

My father used to follow me around when I was in my 20s and home from university. He used to deny he was doing it and got very aggressive when confronted. It was his way of "caring" (otherwise known as controlling).

want2sleep Fri 05-Aug-11 16:48:31

GB you don#t half attract them...bloody hell the London stalker after you...you were so bloody lucky you were so experienced with the other stalking as a virgin victim wouldnt notice!!!!

I had telephone stalking too...someone would phone me when I turned my lights on when I arrived home. I had just moved in and the number was new....I used to laugh down the phone going 'Hellooo' blush maybe I shouldn't have done that! But funny how it didn't scare me and I just got used to the calls they stopped though after about 8 months??? Spoilsport HAHAAHA!

Gang stlking isnt on the list either so not a great list I must admit GB do you want me to paste what she says re behaviour/manage them ?

Onemorning Fri 05-Aug-11 21:25:50

My exh was a 'rejected' stalker, mainly via telephone but also following me home from work and leaving roses.

He finally stopped when the old bill gave him a warning. Lucky for me he's scared of the police.

hellospoon Fri 05-Aug-11 21:48:20

I would say rejected & predatory stalker ... sad times

PeppermintPasty Fri 05-Aug-11 22:05:09

I had a female stalker! Not quite as weird as it sounds-I was in my early 20s and a member of a gym in the town where I lived. I had crap self esteem but looking back I was basically a young not-bad looking girl(bloody gorge really ho ho) and sooo naive about people. Anyway, was friendly with everyone. This hideous woman who was married to one of the 40yo-ish men there(who I passed the time of day with) started coming round to my house and doing things like trying to get in my back door and screeching at me how she hated me and was going to kill me. As well as being shit scared I was mystified . I then got awful scary anonymous letters saying "they" knew I was having an affair with this man(UGH he was hideous in that respect!)and how they were going to rip out my c**t and other revolting violent things.

The gym owner who I knew well called the police and we told them our suspicions. But no evidence-or they thought I WAS sleeping with him I suppose sad so nothing happened except they visited her and she denied all of it.

I then heard that this man was or had had an affair and I concluded that he had allowed his wife to think it was me to take the heat off him and this other woman-I was a bolshy so and so then, despite lacking in self confidence, and I had it out with him in the gym one day, much to the delight of everyone else!

Lesson learned about the devious lengths some people will go to. And I wasn't even guilty!!

Ooh, sounds quite exciting from the distance of 20 years later! It wasn't nice though.

FabbyChic Fri 05-Aug-11 22:21:03

I've a stalker that I have never met, he hacks into my emails, my facebook, and copies message and forwards them to my boyfriend, whose email address he got from his ME page on eBay and from his website for his business.

He has been doing this for two years, I've never met the man, he has never met me. He has seen pics of me that is all. I had an EA with his friend for three years.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to change my email address. I've had to get a new PC because I thougth mine had a key logger.

I was almost cheating and fair enough I was wrong to do that but he took my emails between me and the other man and sent them all on.

There was no way he could have had my email address but he searched for it because of the way I spell my first name and he found it. He hacked it.

It pisses me off because he works for the police not as a copper.

Because I don't know his full name only his first name, and I don't know where he lives I can do nothing about it. It's harassment, and it pisses me off.

The most recent event was 10 days ago, before that 18 months.

None of what I type on the internet is private or even safe.

hellospoon Fri 05-Aug-11 22:46:56

fabby, can you not have all emails, internet etc in a way that he wont be able to find it?

FabbyChic Sat 06-Aug-11 00:14:39

I have no idea! I don't even know how he found my last email address. I have of course changed it now, but it's just a pita, and I have no idea as to why which is the worst thing, its like WHY ME?

want2sleep Sat 06-Aug-11 00:51:27

fabby this cyberstalker...does he remove emails too?
Ghosh! Can you get a computer hacker (usually 19yrs old in uni lol)...and get them to catch the hacker...their is always someone better to outsmart the hacker!
Is he a friend of your DP? As he sends them to your DP? How does he know your dp? Is he jealous and wants to split you both up? Do you both have a friend with the same name?

Peppermint how awful....!

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