Hi this is my first thread. Im just a bit worried about DH I have a friend who I met a few years ago. DH doesn't normally get on with my friends but he seemed to get on with this girl really well. I was so happy that he finally liked one of my friends. When I got pregnant he started to go out to a club with her (and a few others, but not his friends, they were hers), which I have no problem with, I was tired and fat and didn't want him to be stuck in with me being bored while I slept lol. But then it was every weekend. It cut down after dd was born, just going out once maybe twice a month. Again not really bothering me. Then I start to notice he was commenting on A LOT of her facebook statuses and photos, nothing bad but he never does that on mine. Then last week we both went out and she was there and this is where I got a bit uncomforatable with it all. When he hugged her hello he hugged her for ages and kind of nuzzled into her hair/neck. It made me feel really weird about it, I'd never hug one of my male friends like that and we were talking and I said 'Im going to find sister in law up by the other bar' (we came out with SIL and BIL, I felt rude that we'd left them for a while) and he said 'I'll find you later, Im going to hang out here for a bit' and then came to find me half an hour later. If I had said that I was staying to hang out with a male friend rather than talk to him he would go nuts. I don't know what to make of it??
I don't think there's anything going on between them, but I definitely think he fancies her I feel like crap, I put on loads of weight after I had dd, of course he's going to start fancying other people. He says he still fancies me but I don't think he does. She's his perfect girl too, she's into all the same stuff as him and she's his type, blonde, surfer girl and funny too. He's always saying he liked it better when I had blonde hair and wored the clothes I used to.
I think he might have a little crush on her, theres certainly no evidence at this stage to say they're having an affair! Crushes will happen even if your relationship is strong, its human nature. They will only develop into more if he has a total lack of respect for you or has fallen out of love.
"I don't want him to think Im a jealous possesive person, Im really not"
Nothing wrong with a bit of jealously/possessiveness. Goodness knows that my pregnancy hormones have brought mine out in me. And likewise, in my partner concerning me. You should jealous/possessive - you should protect what's yours.
Don't let him fob you off - whether or not he's up to something, or would like to be up to something, his behaviour is out of order. He should be there for you.
So I talked to him, got the 'there's nothing you're being silly' And we went out with this girl and her boyfriend the other night. He was ok and spent time with me but the whole time he was like 'Her boyfriend's a knob, I can't believe she's with him' and kind of blanking the guy (or just giving one word answers etc) everytime he tried to talk to him, the guy hadn't done anything wrong, and as far as I can tell (only met this guy a few times) he's a nice guy. And then He did the weird hug thing again I don't know what to think
I'm sorry, FrenchRuby, but it doesn't sound like he's telling you the truth. He's either already having an affair with her, or is in love with her/attracted to her/contemplating having an affair with her.
I wouldn't socialise with them in future if I were you - and if he asks why, just tell him. And tell him how his behaviour makes you feel.
I would also try and have a conversation with your friend to see if you can see if anything is really going on - it could be nothing as far as she is concerned - but you really need to find out what's going on.
He's insulting your intelligence, really. If I were you, I'd tell him it's perfectly clear that he fancies her, that he makes you uncomfortable, and that he needs to show that he respects you by stopping all of it. If he honestly doesn't fancy her, then I'm sure he wouldnt mind stopping his nuzzling behaviour as an absolute minimum. It really doesn't matter what he has to say in response to your questions - he needs to agree to change his behaviour.