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how long did you wait?

(6 Posts)
stayforthekids1 Wed 03-Aug-11 14:33:34

for those whom are separated/divorced....how long did you wait before venturing out on the whole 'dating thing'. My ex and I separated 3 weeks ago, very amicable, as the marriage had been dead a long long time before we actually did. He told me he is considering starting to go out for nights on the town...see what happens. I am delighted he is moving on. Myself...someone has declared an interest and I am interested but...how soon is too soon?! I dont think either of us are thinking of diving head first into a full blown relationship, or intending on having a million one night stands (classy) but just....testing the waters. I am really pleased we have been able to stay friends and that both of us are looking forward to our separate futures, but also wonder if its bad to be considering even looking at another person so soon into separation. Thoughts?

FabbyChic Wed 03-Aug-11 14:37:24

There is no rights or wrongs it is about when you are ready.

LittleHousebytheRiver Wed 03-Aug-11 15:43:55

I've been on my own since September so 10 months now. My ex "found love" within 3 months although he is a bit embarrassed as he was distraught when I moved out. He has been snapped up by someone who left her own husband in October. It is a relief as he is not looking to me for support. I think he is being very careful not to upset our kids by introducing her to them too soon.

My friend has firmly told me it will be two years before I am fully recovered from the marriage breakdown, and I think she is probably right. I have met a few men online and made some nice friends but none have been boyfriend material. I am treating the experience as dating practice, as I never learned those skills in my youth. You need your red flag check list to weed out the losers, and a good loon radar! But see it as a bit of fun and a chance to meet new people and who knows what will happen!

I am a bit shocked though how many lonely men there are who don't seem to have any close friends or family to support them. It has made me value my life more, and appreciate my friends and family.

Good luck and have fun.

stayforthekids1 Wed 03-Aug-11 21:21:18

What is a red flag list?!

anothermum92 Thu 04-Aug-11 13:46:49

Message withdrawn

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow Thu 04-Aug-11 13:53:50

red flag list frequently cited on MN

recent thread on real-life red flags experienced by MNers

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