In this case my "h". He is trying to get rid of clutter in the house - a longstanding issue between us as I am a hoarder to a certain extent and he hates it. He told me today that unless I get rid of certain things that need to be e-bayed he will put them out on the pavement. I do know where he is coming from as this is the thing that I have been putting off for literally months.
His tone is always angry and unkind in this situation though.
Just now he is on e-bay and he asked me aggressively what bike I wanted to get rid of. I didn't understand and thought he meant of mine so I said I did not want to get rid of mine (my dad recently brought it over from his house - it used to belong to my auntie and probably is too small for me but I don't want to get rid of it as yet). At this point he aggressively says "ARE YOU THICK?" and then I feel flustered and realise that he didn't mean my bike in general but the others - there are quite a few cluttering up the garden which belong / have belonged to the children a lot of which he purchased himself from e-bay etc... Eg he bought middle daughter two choppers and was going to use one to fix the other (the parts) but hasn't done this so they are languishing in our garden unuseable. So we have another small conversation where I am flustered and he is aggressive about which bikes to get rid of..... He also refers to one bike (an older one) as being "fucked".
Should add that we get on in a fairly civil manner during the week but weekends are always difficult. We do not live as a couple any more but more as co-parents. I find his negativity, short-temper and bullishness difficult. I don't talk to him about anything that really matters to me as it is impossible. We never kiss or hug or say nice things to each other. He doesn't like my clutter and lack of housekeeping skills. We also have lots of issues surrounding money.
He can be more relaxed but in general we are not on an equal footing - he is 12 years older than me which is part of it.
Anyway, my main question was whether the question "are you thick?" is every okay because it made me feel like crying :(.
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Relationships
Is it ever okay to be aggressively asked "are you thick" by a partner?
shocked2 · 31/07/2011 17:48
Yes he definitely has a short tempered / mean side to him. Working weekends would be good 
but then I wouldn't be able to do any weekend activities with the kids like going to the park or the swimming pool. I definitely prefer the week where I have contact with other adults - dh really seems to need people (other than the dc whom he adores) much less than I do...
Has he always been like this, or is he under stress at work? I personally can't stand 'ditherers' and your post makes you sound unsure of what you are doing and you are waiting for hims to sort things out and maybe that is why he is getting so angry.
You need to be more 'pro-active' in doing things and hoarding can drive other people to distraction. My mum was a hoarder and we are still sorting out the mess in the house months later 
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