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Help me get perspective please !

(3 Posts)
Broadwalkempire Fri 29-Jul-11 20:42:23

so...I work 2.5 days a week in a professional career type job. my hours are fixed due to recession but sometimes although I can leave I find it hard to leave on time so I suffer the guilt of never quite satisfying work even tho i'm justified in leaving plus I have childcare time constraints. I do nursery and childminder pick up. Dc's 2 and 5. I do most other things. Washing drying and putting away. Food shop. Organise cleaner ( yes have one !). Sort all kids stuff. manage finances. Do packed lunches even on work days. work days I leave the house at 7.30 and dh does childminder drop off en route to work but the kids generally bother me whilst I try to get ready whilst dh stands under the shower for an endless time. Oh the luxury.

I cook kids and our supper every day...

So it's now school hols. I have grandparents generally helping out on childcare on work days but non work days I have them both. The kids aren't too bad although all kids of that age are demanding/trying at times. We had a family holiday in may so aren't going again this summer hols. I asked dh if he could chip in so he's taking one day off. the rest of the summer he's not proposing to take any holiday to maybe give me a hand on my non work days. He has plenty of holiday. Then today he gets home early and starts trying to fix something then when DS wants him to play he says he just need five mins to himself...and turns the cricket on and plonks himself down.

I have words and yet again he does the old 'you've been swanning around with your mates and now you're knackered so any excuse to have a go'....I pointed out that taking them out (we're talking swimming/shops..and having other kids to play) is a way to save my sanity and I suggested he would not be doing one on one parenting for 12 hours a day if the roles were reversed. he's found DS really difficult as terms come to an end so he knows how hard it is... he also does the, 'you've no idea what's going on at my work blah blah...'. he's always tired from work (has v.responsible job but full time rather than my part time)...but that's what he does . there isn't much juggling going on there. I'm not saying it's not hard/ stressful etc, but on weeks when I'm struggling at work it's convenient for him not to find out about that...He's gone to bed. I'm feeling really cross. I'm tootired to deal with it...
Help me work through this one...

kayah Sat 30-Jul-11 00:05:08

Why don't you look for a temporary 'help for the days when you are at home?

make it for this month and the next and then revisit to see how much you need it in the future.

Marshmallowflump Sun 31-Jul-11 10:30:53

I agree sounds like you are feeling swamped with all you have to do in a day , I know it is hard act juggling kids/work and DH to contend with.

But if you had more help if you can afford it wouldnt you feel less pressure and not so angry with your dh?, only a suggestion , reflect on what would help YOU most , because as you know us girls do most of the chores and parenting whether we like it or not!. I speak as a Lone parent of 20 years , but really it gets easier as they become older keep your chin up sounds like you are being too hard on yourself , and sure you are doing a great job.

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