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Relationship counselling to get marriage back on track - any experiences?

(6 Posts)
AudreyII Wed 27-Jul-11 13:52:23

Dh and I have been finding it hard since ds was born, there's been no big 'split up' issues (no violence, cheating etc) just that our relationship has changed so much since becoming parents. I am trying to persuade him to go to a relationship/marriage counselling service but he thinks they're only for couples wanting to split up.

Has anyone got any experience of counselling in these circumstances and do you think it was helpful? Thanks

Wisedupwoman Wed 27-Jul-11 19:39:17

I went to a relationship therapist with my now XH. Tried Relate first but then went private and it was cheaper than Relate, and better.

There is no assumption that couples will split up or stay together, that's for the couple to work on and decide in therapy. Wherever you go there will be an initial assessment session to focus on why you're there and what you hope to get from going. Then it's up to you to decide if it's worth it. Maybe just going for the assessment will clarify things for you both and you'll work it out on your own.

I'd say try it and have an open mind, both of you.

AllRightSoFar Wed 27-Jul-11 19:49:53

I could have written your text word-for-word. With same response from DH. I can't speak for anyone else but feel in our instance DH is in denial about the situation and views counselling as a forum to assign blame.

From what I have read, counselling can be really beneficial, which is why I have decided to give our situation a chance to resolve itself in a matter of x months and if no progress has been made then I will just go by myself.

Its not ideal and I hope I won't have to but there is only so long you can bang your head against the same brick wall!

AudreyII Thu 28-Jul-11 19:44:15

Allright - I hope you get things sorted.

Is it possible that men can get pnd of sorts?

stargazy Thu 28-Jul-11 20:30:51

Not just for couples splitting up.We went to relate in aftermath of DH's inppropriate friendship with OW.Thankfully got discovered before went too far but the fall out was pretty awful time for both of us.We thought our marriage was solid and good but in hindsight there was lots we could have done to improve communication and behaviours on both sides -and resentments that had been slowly building up.Just the usual stuff in a long marriage I guess.We both agreed we wished we'd gone sooner and given our relationship an MOT.
We were very lucky to get a brilliant counsellor (not always the case I gahter)Only yesterday my DH surprised and moved me to tears by saying how he'd like to truly thank her for the help she gave us -and let her know we are doing fine and getting better all the time.Good luck and hope you get a good experience out of it.

itsnotpossibleisit Thu 28-Jul-11 22:34:41

OP we were in the same situation. After having DD our relationship just went worse by the day. We went to relate and I have to say it didn't work for us and we separated 3 months ago. You both need to really understand what you are doing and be honest with each other. It can help and I really hope it help both of you.

Good luck

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