How would you react?

[atosilis]

A friend of mine has recently had her 4th baby (8 months) and her husband has told her that she is no longer 'tight' down there and he is finding it a bit of an issue, sex is not satisfying.

She is now on the internet looking at exercises, balls, electric muscle tighteners. I am just . Has anybody been through this, had it said to you and what did you do?

[ohgawdherewegoagain]

What a selfish so and so - she has given him a child for heaven's sake! Physio's can help by giving instruction on how to do pelvic floor exercises in the correct way. Advise her to ask her GP to refer her.

[TartanKitty]

I think it depends on how it was raised and how she feels about it. It is good and healthy for couples to discuss and address issues in their sex life. And this is eight months after a fourth child, not a couple of weeks after a first so it doesn't seem to me like a terrible thing to bring up if it is an issue for him. The fact is there are things that can help and she is looking into it so surely that's all quite positive. If she's upset about her husband's comments she should talk to him but it sounds like she's ok about it and looking at what can be done to make their sex more satisfying for them both.

[Renaissance227]

[AMumInScotland]

What tartan said - if she's generally happy with their relationship and it was raised in a way that wasn't hurtful or insulting, then improving their sex life is a reasonable thing to discuss and work at.

[lazarusb]

Is he using this as an excuse to look elsewhere for a shag? Think MoFo has hit the nail on the head really.

[Bogeyface]

I agree that it depends on how it was said. If he said that things were different since she had the baby and although he has given it time, things dont seem to be improving so are there any things they can do to improve it? THats fine, and actually if her PF is a bit knackered then she may well have noticed if she is getting stress incontinence and him saying that was the push she needed to do something about it.

IF he said that sex with her was like chucking a sausage up the entry then I would have smacked him one and said that I would save him the trauma of ever having to do it again by shutting up shop!