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How can I get help for my children after a Divorce because of Alcoholism?

(14 Posts)
JRHarris Wed 27-Jul-11 02:22:52

My marriage was ravaged by Alcoholism and it caused a real nasty divorce that destroyed all of the savings we had left. I am living with my Sister and have two teenage girls who need help coping. Where is the best (and cheapest) place in London to do this? I am afraid if I go to the wrong place they may try to take them away because we don't have money any more.

pickgo Wed 27-Jul-11 02:26:59

Go to your GP and ask for a referral to a child counsellor, Your girls will not be taken off you because you have no money. confused

JRHarris Wed 27-Jul-11 02:44:16

I am worried about social services trying to put them in fosterers if I go through a GP. We had a pretty rocky marriage with many drunken episodes in the end, but I am a good parent and will do anything for my girls.

HairyGrotter Wed 27-Jul-11 07:13:13

Try this www.al-anonuk.org.uk/. It's a great organisation.

No-one will take your children away due to money problems.

ImperialBlether Wed 27-Jul-11 09:39:25

OP, who was the drinker, you or your husband?

Were you both drinkers? If so, are you receiving treatment for your own alcoholism? If you are in treatment, having no money will not mean your DC are taken away - and also you should be able to get advice re benefits etc.

Al-anon should be able to help your DDS free of charge no matter what, but if you are an alcoholic who is still drinking, you need to seek help for yourself.

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers Wed 27-Jul-11 13:00:35

I feel for you JRH as am going through similar myself, though still in our home at the moment <touch wood> . Al Anon runs groups called Alateen, which might help. My dc are too young for it. But I think you should ask for professional help and not fear Social Services.

jesuswhatnext Wed 27-Jul-11 13:47:39

are the girls still in school? - most schools have good pastoral care these days, perhaps that would be the best place to start?

anothermum92 Wed 27-Jul-11 14:02:04

Message withdrawn

JRHarris Wed 27-Jul-11 14:22:41

Are there any good pastors in London I can talk to about this confidentially? We just drove here from hunters quay. My sister isn't as religious as I am, we have been jumping around a wee bit and I have lost connection with the church because of it. I guess it is to be expected when booze is involved.

cestlavielife Wed 27-Jul-11 14:38:14

you could also try anna freud centre
http://www.annafreud.org/pages/services.html

you can ring and a psychologist will call you back for 30 minute consultation to see then what service could be offered for you and your girls

what religion are you? some churches may have specialist services

OP, unless the church has people who have some understanding of addiction, its consequences and how to help addicts and their families, they will be useless or worse than useless. Love, patience and the placebo power of prayer do not work on treating people who have suffered serious trauma or are addicts.

JRHarris Thu 28-Jul-11 00:05:16

If you don't think Spiritual guidance will help, what type of guidance do you think I should get them? My kids aren't drunks or addicts or anything. We drank around them, but I didn't drink a quarter as much and only on the weekends.

JRH: it's actually quite difficult to work out what sort of help you are looking for. Are your kids distressed and miserable? Or are you worried that they may become addicts if not given some assistance? While there are some religious organisations which are well-organised, strongly invested in their local communities and run by educated people who genuinely want to help, there are plenty of others which are going to be extremely unhelpful, and religion in general is more likely to be harmful than helpful to troubled individuals.
The best place to start is with your GP who should be able to guide you towards support groups for families strugglign with alcoholism and its aftermath.

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