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Would you believe this?

(132 Posts)
Believable Wed 27-Jul-11 01:46:19

If you were told this story, would you believe it? (sorry it is very long)

Jane was your typical woman in mid-twenties, hoping someday to find Mr right but it no, so what? Although she wanted children come hell or high water. If that meant being a single mum, then so be it. Jane unfortunately had PCOS, so the likelihood of her conceiving naturally was fairly slim.

In the summer of 2005, after another break up of a not to serious relationship, she stumbled into the taxi of a man who was quite charming. He name was John. John was not from the same country as Jane. Jane had always believed the she was no better than anyone and no one was better than her. Everyone was equal. They exchanged numbers and over the next few weeks and months, a relationship had blossomed. Jane & John decided to start trying for a baby. After a chat with her doctor they both felt that it might be a long process and her doctor prescribed some medication to increase the chances of conceiving.
After a few months they were successful. They were both overjoyed. John & Jane decided to take a trip to his home country for Jane to be introduced to his family. The trip was planned meticulously and they discussed getting married when they were away. His family would never be able to afford the money to UK to attend wedding. A decision was reached that they would marry in his country with his family and then on their 1yr anniversary, get blessing in UK with her family and friends.

So in the summer of 2006 Jane & John set of for his home country. They were welcomed warmly and Jane felt like a part of the family instantly. Jane and John were married surrounded by his family. It was a lovely day. Whilst they were there John’s father became very ill and was admitted to hospital. Things did not look good. Jane suggested that John should stay for a few weeks to spend as much time as possible with his ailing father and that she would return to UK without him. The baby was not due for 3 months so plenty of time for John to spend with his father and still be back in time for the birth.

Jane returned to the UK on her own. It was fairly unpleasant trip. Long flight to London, missing connecting flight. Having to arrange to fly to nearby airport and getting a lift from that airport in the middle of the night. Jane returned to work the following day after only a few hours’ sleep. She looked very much like a busted sofa, but a happy busted sofa. Everyone was delighted that they had married. A few days later Jane had a regular check-up in hospital to monitor pregnancy, it was noted that there was reduced fluid and baby was breech. Hospital arranged for her to attend again the following week for further monitoring.
Jane was still live in her parents’ house and so had to find somewhere for her, John and baby to live and set up house. The following week the fluid was decreased and Jane was signed off work and put on bed rest, now she had to attend every 3 days for monitoring. At 29 weeks she was admitted to hospital for full bed rest. There was the constant threat that they would have to deliver the baby early. Jane was frantic. Baby might not survive and John was still at his father’s bedside. She did not want to pressure him to come home.

Finally John came home when Jane was at 34weeks. Within days the fluid levels around the baby stabilised and she was allowed to go home. Baby was born by C-section at 38wks. They were both ecstatic with the new dd.

Home life settled into the mundane routine. But something kept niggling at Jane. John disappearing for hours on end, saying he was going somewhere on his way out then talking about another place when he came home. John worked nightshift and the wages coming into the house did not match the amount of hours that he was working.
Jane got suspicious and started hunting for clues. She eventually found a phone with few numbers that she did not recognise. Jane called these numbers to be told by the women on the other end that they were “dating” her husband. All hell broke loose and Jane kicked John out of the house. Jane was raised Catholic and believed that marriage is for life. When she and Jon (also Catholic) first discussed getting married, they were in complete agreement was to what was acceptable. Infidelity was not. But Jane’s religion meant that she had to try to forgive him.

About a month after they separated, John was living with a woman(let’s call her Alice) from his own country saying that “she knew too much” and “she could get him into trouble” and promised that someday everything would be sorted and he & Jane would be happy again.

Jane fell into a depression. Going from being a single happy woman without a care in the world to a separated married woman with 4month old dd and debt up to her eyeballs (trip home & setting up the house).

Life ticked on as best it could. Jane did all that she could for her dd. Providing a safe and loving home albeit with only one parent. John was very sporadic in his visits, which tormented Jane. After consulting a solicitor, Jane was advised to not rock the boat. To let things plod along as they were. John would most likely be granted access to DD outside of the house but that meant the DD would be going to Alice’s house. Alice on her many many phone calls to Jane to stay away from John made it very clear that she hated Jane and disliked the idea of DD.

So in winter of 2009, a police man called to Jane house and asked to come in. PC Bobby explained that the home office had been looking at John and had discovered that he had 2 wives. One he married in UK in 2004 and Jane who he married elsewhere in 2006. This came as such a shock to Jane. She was required to go to police station to give a full statement. This process was horrific for Jane having to recount their whole relationship to a very cynical policewoman (let’s call her Sally) who seemed to be getting pleasure out of the delicious gory details of the broken relationship. Jane made it perfectly clear that she would not be giving evidence in court if it ever got that far. She provided the police with photographs and a copy of the marriage licence.

As the month went by, PC Sally pushed and pressured Jane about handing over the original marriage licence. Jane refused. If on the off chance the licence was lost/destroyed, Jane would have to fly back to John’s home country and apply in person. Jane assured PC Sally that she would make sure that the original licence was brought to court on the days it was needed.

PC Sally alternated between pushing for the licence and pushing for Jane to give evidence in court. Jane’s depression was not lifting and if anything was getting deeper and deeper. Her doctor has to write to the prosecution service and police to advise them that Jane was not medically fit to give evidence.

John’s case finally made its way to magistrates’ court and was publicised on radio & newspapers much to Jane’s distress. The case moved to crown court. PC Sally contacted Jane again and this time threatened to arrest Jane. Jane had a breakdown. John’s barristers put forward an old piece of legislation from 1800s.

The following week, John’s case was dropped. His barristers had found a loophole in the law. He legally has 2 wives. He is living the life of Reilly while Jane raises their DD on her own.

BitOfFun Wed 27-Jul-11 01:51:35

Sorry, what is the question?

Believable Wed 27-Jul-11 01:54:44

Is this story believable?

Solo Wed 27-Jul-11 01:56:26

IME, anything is possible.

LesserOfTwoWeevils Wed 27-Jul-11 02:08:20

Well, I would find it easier to believe if we knew what the loophole in the law was that supposedly let John have two wives.

nothingnatural Wed 27-Jul-11 02:26:59

I suppose it's believable, at a push. Is it fiction or fact. Why do you want to know? Are you Jane?

I agree withe Lesseroftwoweevils, what's this supposed loophole - that sounds fishy to me.

moonferret Wed 27-Jul-11 02:34:57

Anything is possible, correct solo.

And when in relationships with those from overseas, it's more likely to end in tears.

savoycabbage Wed 27-Jul-11 04:52:19

Yes it's believable I suppose. Perhaps one of the marriages wasn't strictly legal. Like on Big Love blush

LeoTheLateBloomer Wed 27-Jul-11 06:39:30

Hs John gained anything from marrying Jane? Is he now allowed to stay in the country when before he wasn't?

And what is the loophole?

Since joining MN I would believe anything is possible. (I led a sheltered life before!)

RabbitPie Wed 27-Jul-11 07:50:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Reality Wed 27-Jul-11 07:54:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aislingorla Wed 27-Jul-11 08:47:07

I believe some of it!
The bit that bemuses me a tad is her reference to them both being catholic and therefore marriage is for life, having knowingly concieved before marriage which is not in keeping with 'the church's teaching/dogma'. Pick 'n' mix relig

Aislingorla Wed 27-Jul-11 08:47:45

religion, that is.

BluddyMoFo Wed 27-Jul-11 08:53:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer Wed 27-Jul-11 08:58:04

If they are such staunch Catholics she should have no trouble getting an annulment.

Anyway, he cannot legally have two wives. You cannot legally have two wives.

The marriage to Jane cannot be legal as he was already married at the time.

It may have not been possible to convict John of Bigamy because the marriage to Jane was a) conducted in a foreign country and b) she wouldn't provide the certificate for it. "Not being convicted of bigamy" is not the same as "legally having 2 wives."

Nevertheless the marriage is not valid because he was already married to whatserface.

If she wanted him to be convicted of bigamy she should have produced the original licence.

Thistledew Wed 27-Jul-11 08:58:37

It sounds plausible apart from the 'loophole' for avoiding the bigamy charges. If both parties are domiciled in the UK then bigamy is unlawful and the marriage to Jane is void under English law. The only way that John would be able to avoid a bigamy charge would be either if his place of domicile is not the UK or his marriage to Jane is not legitimate according to the laws of the country in which they married.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Wed 27-Jul-11 09:00:28

If she is religious enough to not want to get divorced would she have started ttc before marriage or even consider being a single mum?

Btw there is a writing section.

oldenoughtowearpurple Wed 27-Jul-11 09:06:09

and what's all this stuff about PC Sally being threatening etc? surely if you were Jane you'd go up the line to her boss to complain and to clarify what the court actually required? Jane could have got a certified copy of the licence made by a solicitor to use in court or to hang on to for herself.

uninspired Wed 27-Jul-11 09:33:29

Pretty much anything is possible but basically what they ^ said up there

ImperialBlether Wed 27-Jul-11 09:37:49

I hope this isn't a novel, because the heroine sounds like a simpleton!

DuelingFanjo Wed 27-Jul-11 09:50:48

there's way too much information in there, it's waffly and so sounds silly.

snicker Wed 27-Jul-11 09:55:02

These are the bits I don't believe.

She started ttc with a man she had only known for weeks/months when she knew fuck all about him and they weren't married

She was so arsey about co-operating with the police

There is a loophole that allows people to legally have 2 wives

She hasn't got an annulment.

PirateDinosaur Wed 27-Jul-11 10:15:34

Also, even if you have PCOS will a doctor normally prescribe Clomid up front after a "chat" before you've even tried TTC without? Most couples seem to have to jump through hoops.

It's not un believable, though. But if it's true then Jane has behaved like a bit of a numpty throughout. And she'd be entitled to a religious annulment even without the bigamy element -- John's taking up with multiple other women almost immediately after the marriage would mean that he had never meant his marriage vows in the first place which under Canon law is grounds for annulment.

LynetteScavo Wed 27-Jul-11 10:26:31

Exactly what snicker said.

DuelingFanjo Wed 27-Jul-11 10:30:16

depending on the timescales this bit sounds weird...

"Jane & John decided to start trying for a baby. After a chat with her doctor they both felt that it might be a long process and her doctor prescribed some medication to increase the chances of conceiving."

what tests did they have, how long were they trying before they had those tests, what drugs did her GP prescribe?

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