What do you make of this?

[somegirlsarebigger]

I have known this man since school. He use to have a massive crush on me and at the time I was in a relationship and not interested. Since then, over the 20 odd years since being at school we have met up a few times and kept in contact. I met him five years ago very drunk and we ended up in bed. Nothing futher happened cause we were both in a relationship and it was a drunken mistake. We left it since then and just met up recently just to say a quick hello and had the most intense and magical moment where we both felt like we fell in love. Seeing him again was heavenly and we were both totally shocked at the impact we had on each other.

We are both in relationships. I don't know what to make of it all. At one point i was ready to end my relationship and explore this thing we have but i talked with him at a later date about how mad that moment was and he agreed but said that he is happy in his relationship. Far enough, no problems. Trouble is he has since drunk text me with declarations of love. but i don't think he really wants me so why all the contact and declarations of love?

Im confused. Am i being an idiot? Are magic moments like that a load of rubbish?

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

magic moments like that tend to be a quick blast of lust. normally following hot on the heels of a large amount of alcohol.

If he wanted to be with you - he would be. He's told you he doesn't, because he's made it clear that he's happy in his relationship.

I think what you had was a touch of ye olde burnin' loins. Happens to us all.

[tethersend]

Do either of you have children?

[somegirlsarebigger]

but we were stone cold sober though! Is it really nothing more that lust? That is so disappointing.

[somegirlsarebigger]

yes I have 2 DCs.

[tethersend]

If you have children, then you have to be sure. You have to have the conversation with him again since he sent the texts.

If he does not feel the same as you, then you need to tell him to back off and stop toying with you.

It sounds like you have a lot to lose if it goes wrong.

Are you happy with your DP?

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

I said normally following. Not always following

Yeah, my bet is on good old fashioned lust.

If you were meant to be together, he wouldn't be telling you how happy he is in his relationship, would he?

There's nothing wrong with a bit of lust! Makes your heart beat fast, makes you dizzy, really sets you on fire! but it's not magical.

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

Oh, but meant to say - the drunken texts are out of order. That's just pissing about with your feelings and it's mean. You need to tell him to stop doing it or you will show his girlfriend! It is not 'magical' in any way for someone to keep you dangling.

It's like it's revenge for when he wanted you but you weren't interested!

[somegirlsarebigger]

OK I know you are talking sense. I am not happy with DP so I guess this is where its all come from. I was just so shocked by the impact he had on me. It made me feel so ALIVE.

Damn those bloody loins they just cause trouble don't they...

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

If you're not happy with your partner, then that's what you need to address.

Perhaps this man is just a symptom of a problem, iyswim.

Don't focus on him. Address your relationship.

[almostgrownup]

I don't think it's lust, it is a moment of true human communion which happens sometimes. It is just a moment though and doesn't mean that he is a candidate for a decent relationship. I've had similar sort of thing with complete strangers that I have never seen before or since. But the fact that you are wanting to explore this must indicate that you are questioning your current relationship, consciously or unconsciously.

[lazarusb]

Focus on what you need/want to do in your relationship.
Delete his number. He's told you he's not interested. He would probably like some sex. You are too emotionally involved with him to do that and walk away.