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I hate feeling like this!!

(9 Posts)
rainbowdrift Mon 25-Jul-11 22:08:16

OK im new here so bear with me.
I been with my fiance for just over 2 and half years and we have a 1 year old and i have 2 older children.
I have always been a socially awkward person so find it hard to make friends, so was nice when i made friends with a mum at playgroup. we hung out, she came round for tea, was nice to have some company.
Now 3 weeks ago i was playing on my blokes mobile looking at videos of our son. i find a vid of him recieving a sex act from this woman!
I kicked him out etc, and he says he genuinely sorry etc. Now i have decided to try again even though everyone says i am mad. But hey you know what its like in love eh?
I warned him that he gonna have to be very understandiing and will take a while for my trust to build again etc. he says fine will do what he can to help me

Now the other day he tells me his exwife has added him on facebook, which i know for a fact he requested her. and he was sat there chatting online to her about us! when i say i not comfortable with it he says i making a fuss over nothing. i just give in and carry on with life. Then today he sat on laptop reading all messages from woman he was dating before we got together, he then felt need to add her too and chat to her!!
Am i being neurotic or is it right i feel it really insensitive to talk to these women when we trying to work stuff out?

KindKim Mon 25-Jul-11 22:18:17

You are definitely not being neurotic!

Even if you were, he should accept your feelings and cease contact with these women (if that is what you want) if that is what it takes to make a proper go of it, to prove how comitted he is to you.

Stand up for yourself, and sorry you are going through this. Its horrible, (i've been there, done that and got the kids!) but it feels a lot worse to stay in a relationship like this and have the constant emotional turmoil than to close the door on it and look to the future. Takes a bit of time, but worth it!

Stand tall, hold your head high, this is him who's wrong, not you!!!!

rainbowdrift Mon 25-Jul-11 22:27:28

i seriously dont get why he like this! he lucky i took him back after what he did, and yes my paranoia is quite bad at mo but i trying soo hard to control it but its not helping. I logged on laptop tonight and realised there is a different email addy in msn box so he must have a secon email address i didnt know about!

hellospoon Mon 25-Jul-11 22:40:48

U need to get rid of him. He is making a fool of you.

How can your children respect you when you have no respect for yourself.

ImperialBlether Mon 25-Jul-11 22:54:25

Do you have children together?

I think you should tell him it's the end. You can't trust him and he is emotionally cruel to you. You can't possibly marry this man - you'd have an awful life with him.

rainbowdrift Mon 25-Jul-11 22:57:33

i have a 7 year old and 4 year old from my marriage, and i have a 1year old with him. we have been great upto this last month, we had the perfect relationship, i just dont get why the sudden change in him

Xales Mon 25-Jul-11 23:08:07

He is lying to you - saying the ex requested him on facebook when you know he did the requesting.

He does not consider your feelings important - dismissing your feelings about him discussing you with the ex and getting back with other ex's.

You are not paranoid. Did he tell you that you were? Paranoia is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion.

You may be anxious but you are anxious because of his behaviour. You are not irrational or delusional it is based on what he is actually doing. You have concrete proof of this.

There is nothing to stop you living separately while working on your relationship not that it sounds like a relationship worth saving if you have to put up with all his shit and shut up to keep the peace.

That is not a way to live.

if you have proof that he has done something sexual with at least one other woman you need to get yourself off to an STI clinic for a full screening, sorry sad

lazarusb Tue 26-Jul-11 19:41:17

Everything Xales said...he is taking the mickey out of you and dismissing your feelings about he's done. Maybe he needs to move out while you try and work out some things for yourself and your dcs. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT PARANOID!

DoMeDon Tue 26-Jul-11 20:35:30

He is behaving appallingly. Can i ask why your marriage broke down?

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