Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

hard decision to make

(5 Posts)
ladylioness4 Mon 25-Jul-11 17:25:25

i feel like ive got to make a decision which will effect not just myself,my 4 children as well. was with my boyfriend for 6 years. 18months ago i found out he had been using internet chatrooms with other girls. i forgave him and we tried to make things work.after a year of trying and arguments i couldnt do it anymore and asked him to move out. that was 5 months ago,in that 5 months he hasnt stopped saying he loves me and wants to come home. i think i trust him,hes a good dad to our children but something is stopping me from trying to make it work. i would love for it to work and to be a happy family but i cant help thinkin we would be going through this again in a year and i cant and wont put kids through this again. i miss him a lot and i would hate it if he found someone else. i need to decide either way and stick to it. how do i decide, stay with the father of my children or split up permanently and get on with it. im scared either way

vegetariandumpling Mon 25-Jul-11 17:32:39

Do you really think he's changed, or do you just hope he has? has there been some noticeable improvement in his behaviour that suggests things would be different?

It sounds like you're more interested in getting back together with him for your dcs, because you think it will be better for them if their parents are together, is that right? I think you need to think about 1) do you actually still want to be with him and if you do then 2) how can you stop history repeating itself.

RabbitPie Mon 25-Jul-11 17:37:19

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bushymcbush Mon 25-Jul-11 17:37:40

That's a really tough decision. Of course you miss him and you wouldn't like to see him with someone else. But can you ever really trust him again? Once his feet are firmly back under that table, and he feels secure again, what's to stop him doing this again (and covering his tracks better this time)?

What were his reasons for cheating in the first place (and it was cheating IMO)?

ladylioness4 Mon 25-Jul-11 21:03:31

i thought i was the one being cautious by saying i wasnt ready to have him back home,he has been sending me loads of txts saying im all he wants and hed do anything. i started to think it would be ok and said this to him and hes backed right off. im starting to think ive called his bluff. maybe this was what he wanted all along n iv just not wanted to see it. im so confused by his behaviour, maybe my gut instinct was right all along!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now