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triggers and time

(2 Posts)
lifechanger Mon 25-Jul-11 17:13:15

I watched 'Beautiful Bones' on TV last night, and the bit when the narrator gradually realises she is trapped by the grown man who seemed nice and tries so hard to be good, and polite (he tells her she would be rude to leave so soon) triggered an incident in my childhood. I got away, managed to push him off and ran - although I'm sure I wouldn't have been murdered, I know his mauling could have become rape otherwise. He was a family friend who lived in our village. I had forgotten that awful, dreadful realisation that you have been trapped, and are being manipulated and are at risk. almost forty years have gone by since then.

It brought back the feeling I had at the time that I had done something terribly wrong, that it was my fault. You know, I didn't tell anyone, I was so ashamed. Of myself, at 10. And if I had told my mum, I do think she would have been cross with me for creating a social problem in our small community.

I am so glad we teach our children now about the risks, their rights and not to trust someone just because he lives on their road or chats in a friendly manner to their mum. We might think children are less polite and compliant these days (my incident was in the 70s, like the film) but it makes them less vulnerable when they don't think they have to do whatever an adult says because it's an adult. Writing this down helps neutralise the memory, a memory which makes me feel angry, still.

Aislingorla Mon 25-Jul-11 17:57:20

Interesting post.
I read the book and was reminded of various incidents of a similar nature to yours. I also felt it was somehow my fault!And friends I've spoken to have also had 'narrow escapes' felt the same way. Not even from small or indeed religious communities either.

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