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Help me tell my DP what I want!

(2 Posts)
Terraviva Sun 24-Jul-11 11:08:17

Can anyone recommend a good book for improving communication in a relationship? I've realised I bottle up saying things to my DP that I think will hurt his feelings. Eventually it all becomes a massive, vague unsaid problem in my head and I start considering ending the relationship...

So, I need to be able to tell him clearly: 'I want x, y & z', and I just don't seem able to! He's willing to work on anything I want him to, but I have trouble telling him clearly and end up just waffling on. I have asked him what he wants from me by the way, or if there's anything he'd like me to change, and his answer is always no - I am perfect the way I am. I'm bloody not & I almost wish he would give me something to work on so it felt like we were working on our relationship together, instead of me just giving a list of things he needs to shape up on.

I suppose I feel a huge reluctance to tell him what I want because of that belief that you can't change another person, and telling your DP to 'change' for you is wrong.

Anyway, does anyone have a great book they want to recommend to help communication in a relationship? One that's quite practical with exercises to do would be brilliant.

Any other advice gratefully received.

Sorry, am going to have to post and run, but TIA & I'll be back later.

CrispyHedgehog Sun 24-Jul-11 11:10:04

No help but I'm interested in this too smile

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