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Don't know if I can carry on like this!

(4 Posts)
keepingupwiththejoneses Sat 23-Jul-11 23:59:43

A bit of a back story, Dh and split 2 years ago due to constant rows over money, his insecurities and ds1 (another story) not dh's son. We both needed a break. We had money issues, DH buried his head, we got into arrears with things and it was all my fault apparently! We where going through the diagnosis of ds3's autism and ds1 was causing problems. It all got too much for me as Dh would just lash out, not violent, but verbally, it was constant arguments and left him with ds2 & 3. My mum helped me get a rented house. At the time I was a mess but knew I wanted things to work. We worked though things and I moved home after 6 months.
Things have been good we have sorted our money problems and have been doing well since, until about 3 weeks ago. Dh has turned back to before I left, everything and anything accusing me of the most stupid things, bringing things up from years and years ago. He goes out at any opportunity, barely talks goes around slamming doors.
I can't go through this again, it is not fair and the boys or me. What do I do? Dh wont listen to anything I say, he just says I am 'head working him' so talking to him is not an option.

TheSecondComing Sun 24-Jul-11 00:02:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkMonitor Sun 24-Jul-11 00:05:25

Something is going on for him that you don't know about.

Ask him if there is something he's not telling you.

Ask him if he wants to leave because his behaviour is unacceptable and it's something he should think about otherwise you will be asking him to leave.

Tell him exactly what isn't acceptable in the family home if he wants to be part of it.

ILoveUMama Sun 24-Jul-11 04:28:11

Above all you have to do what is best for you and your boys. If the situation is getting to slamming doors it could amplify to breaking things and hurting people. I had to leave my DH for almost 2 months after we went through a simular situation and told him to attend anger management and counseling then call me. That was 3 years ago and things have been better for us since then with no outbursts because he realized he could loose me and our boys. So things can work out if your man is willing to do his part to improve things with his own self and your relationship. In the mean time keep you and the boys safe and happy and go from there.

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