The last 2 days my husband has seemed strange. I thought it was stress and overtiredness. This evening, he has arrived home from work, behaved oddly for an hour or so, and then sat me down and told me he's not happy and that he wants to spend the weekend at his parent's house. He has given me no answers to any questions apart from theres no one else and he still loves me. I'm shocked - I like to think of myself as an emotionally intelligent person and I really did not see this coming.
Our background in a nutshell: 10 years together, 3 years married. 3 and a bit years of trying for a baby, both of us seem to have fertility issues although doctors have not confirmed the exact nature. Put forward for IVF before Christmas. After Christmas the funding was revoked by our PCT. Arranged IVF overseas but were stopped at the last minute due to a supposed cyst...which turned out not to be a cyst at all (I know, you can't make this crap up). The stress combined with a shitty job made me decide to leave my job, although my husband seemed to support me in that, and I fought my way through what I think was depression. Now the funding is back on, and on Tuesday this week we found out we have our first IVF appt in London. My husband has also just recently taken on a job promotion which involves a lot more responsibility.
This month I have a temp job and have felt my confidence building. This last couple of weeks my husband has been working long days and I have worked hard to support him, doing all the cleaning, washing, shopping etc, despite normally sharing these roles. We are normally very affectionate both physically and verbally, he has still called and text often and last night he bought me flowers. Tonight he tells me hasn't been happy for a couple of months and everytime I asked 'Do you want to do the IVF?' 'Do you want to be married to me?' etc etc he just answers 'I don't know'.
I am afraid to say it but I veered from slight sobbing to rage - throwing some of the gifts his children had given at him, including mugs... (teacher, last day of term today). I ran out to my car and sat with the doors locked, talking to my sister. He came out and knocked on the windows but then walked off. When I walked back inside to get some clothes he said he wanted to talk, but I said 'what about? You're not giving me any answers'
I'm at my parent's house now, just numbly sat, while they wring their hands and say 'But you seem so happy'...
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Relationships
No idea how to react to this
Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 22/07/2011 23:06
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