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My brother walked out on my SIL and 3 kids last night. What help can she get?

(20 Posts)
cyb Fri 22-Jul-11 18:49:07

She has no money in her account, and relies on my brother to pay food bills etc. She pays mortgage, works as a pt practice nurse. My parents have given her enough for food for this week- but what else can she do?

Any advice?

LeninGrad Fri 22-Jul-11 18:53:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cyb Fri 22-Jul-11 18:55:54

Thanks Len

Yes she has her Mum and my Mum who could step up

its all such a mess, she had no idea

he has new woman (who is married with child)

FabbyChic Fri 22-Jul-11 18:56:08

She needs to find out if she is entitled to benefits i.e working and child tax credits. She won't get help with her mortgage as it will be in joint names.

BertieBotts Fri 22-Jul-11 18:56:50

She needs to apply for tax credits and council tax benefit. If she's working under 16 hours a week, then I think she can apply for income support as well, but she might not get very much as she's working. Still it should help.

Council tax benefit is through the council and she'll probably have to get the housing benefit form although she won't be entitled to HB if she has a mortgage. IS is through the jobcentre, and TCs are through HMRC, she can apply over the phone for these two, and should be able to find the number by googling.

If she works over 16 hours a week then she can get help with childcare, if not, she won't.

FabbyChic Fri 22-Jul-11 18:57:12

He should still be paying half the mortgage though, and is responsible for any debts in his name, joint debts have to be paid jointly.

She would be better off renting whereby she would get help paying the rent dependant upon her earnings.

MissBeehiving Fri 22-Jul-11 18:58:13

Contact local council and apply for Council Tax benefit.

cyb Fri 22-Jul-11 19:02:24

Thankyou helpful people smile

LeninGrad Fri 22-Jul-11 19:02:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissBeehiving Fri 22-Jul-11 19:02:39

Are there any joint accounts cyb?

LeninGrad Fri 22-Jul-11 19:03:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cyb Fri 22-Jul-11 19:09:20

No no joint accounts

yes they were married

He is terrible with money, has defaulted on car loans (baliffs turned up), borrowed from both sets of parents (and not told her)

She has lots of store card debt in her own right, and loans

LeninGrad Fri 22-Jul-11 19:12:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cyb Fri 22-Jul-11 21:22:12

He told the children he was leaving them today . Not 'having a break' or whatever, just leaving, and said he had met someone else. Children were screaming, apparently

I feel so desperately sorry for them. And I wish I could batter him

MissBeehiving Fri 22-Jul-11 21:24:29


LeninGrad Fri 22-Jul-11 21:28:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cyb Mon 22-Aug-11 13:42:57

Still need some advice with this- he's definitley not coming back- is shacked up at my parents about a mile away from his wife and child/ren

She is struggling to make ends meet- the mortgage company are on her back an dwill not give her a break from payments (apparently she had one last year some time)

She has worked out her monthly outgoings are about £1800 a month and her wages about £800 (she has child benefit too, some money from ex H and CCT) Stil massive deficit.

She is having to ask him for money when she sees him- that can't be right, surely?

He wants to get a divorce but doesn't seem able to say on what grounds . She says she wont divorce him

justpaddling Mon 22-Aug-11 13:52:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lachesis Mon 22-Aug-11 14:01:55

What a prick! If he were my son and he did that to his wife and kids, he would not be welcome to stay in my home.

cyb Mon 22-Aug-11 14:03:33

lach don't even get me STARTED on the failings of my family in all this

My mum and Dad have not contacted my SIL, as they dont wish 'to get involved'

I have told them of course they are effing involved. Still nothing, since giving her money for food first week it happened.

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