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Keeping your relationship 'going' with a baby?

(3 Posts)
polar515 Thu 21-Jul-11 07:45:24

Hi

Just wondering if anyone has tips / advise on how to boost your relationship with little ones now in tow?
We have a 9 month DS who we both adore. But, life seems a total slog at times with the same routines day in day out (which I am a stickler for) and also it's all quite boring (also quite brialliant) but def sometimes boring at times now DS is here (Maybe this is a baby not talking back, routine, early days thing?). I'm still on mat leave and DH works from home most of the time so I think sometimes we don't get enough outside input to give a bit of variety other than talking DS. He's told me this morning he feels like he's being 'micromanaged' as I've been asking him what he's got on in the mornings for the last few days (trying to make conversation).
I admit I'm a bit bored with mat leave too although it pains me to admit it as I want to love every minute - back to work in October.
Also, pre DS we used to be very much morning sex people, so that has obviously gone out the window, and getting it started anywhere else is difficult - we're averaging once a month.
I love DS very much but we're definitely finding things hard going at the mo. We do get a night off about once a month so are lucky in that respect.

Thanks

SleepySuzy Thu 21-Jul-11 07:52:23

Get him to book a day off and go somewhere nice for the day. Or have friends round. You need to have some fun! Easier said than done, I know, but give it a try.

petitdonkey Thu 21-Jul-11 07:57:43

It's a hard time and I feel for you. A night off once a month isn't that much (though I appreciate that some people don't even get this). Could you get a regular babysitter? DH and I try to go out once a fortnight as a couple and, if we are not going out, Friday night is date night. Sounds corny but we have a bottle of wine in the kitchen and chat while we cook something nice - we often move to the sofa for TV or a film (and inevitably fall asleep after too much wine!!) but it's still a nice evening.

Don't give yourself a hard time about being bored no-one loves every minute!! It is majorly boring at times. Do you get out and meet people much? If you were happier it would have a knock-on effect with your DH.

As for sex, if your DH is working at home you could interrupt him when baby goes to sleep and suggest a quickie. The main thing that worked for DH and I is to keep talking about it. Even now, we will say 'I'm sorry I haven't been jumping all over you but I'm knackered'! I have realised (DC1 is 7) that we will have ups and downs in our sex life in terms of frequency and as long as we talk about it it's fine (and amazing how good it can be after a 'dry patch') I, like you, used to worry about it but I don't now as I've seen how time changes things and makes them better.

So, in summary, my marriage advice? Regular time together and open and honest talking - nothing new, sorry grin good luck!

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