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hubby off on stress and driving me crazy.

(5 Posts)
jan2011 Wed 20-Jul-11 14:54:54

i just need to rant. he has been off for over a month and will be off for longer now, fully entitled to it with the way he has been treated in work, but i cannot cope with him in the house! i am in my third trimester of pregnancy, hormonal, used to my routines, now i am feeling so anxious and down because i can't cope with him constantly being in my hair at home, can't get on with the things in the house the same way, need my own space just to potter around, can't deal with him sleeping in, i know this all sounds really selfish but i am just not coping very well i get panic attacks sometimes when i am overwhelmed, i get and about a bit but he is constantly around the house and doesn't understand the way i feel. argh! sometimes i feel like screaming!

QuimFabray Wed 20-Jul-11 15:00:35

Sorry to hear this sad

Is this your first DC? His stress is perhaps exacerbated by the fact that he doesn't feel as though he's providing for the family, iyswim?

Are you able to go out during the day to give yourself some space?

oldwomaninashoe Wed 20-Jul-11 15:27:12

You have my sympathy. I'm assuming that whatever caused the stress is still there and he is probably exuding anxiety without you realising this.

My DH is self employed and when he has no work he is like a lost soul and if I am at home on leave he drives me witless as he is just always THERE and I cannot get on with anything properly. He hangs around exuding neediness and anxiety about the work situation and really gets on my nerves so I know how you feel.

I have found that if I can find him "jobs" to do like a list for the Supermarket, trimming the shrubs in the garden, a long outstanding DIY job etc etc things are a little easier and because he is occupied he hasn't got time to think and feel sorry for himself.

He ultimately wants sympathy from you and you want him to snap out of it. Find something for him to "do" it will make your life a lot easier.

Good luck with the baby, nursery decorated yet?? wink

jan2011 Thu 21-Jul-11 13:30:10

hi
thanks for your replies and for being so understanding! yes its our first baby and he could be stressed about the money too as we are in difficulties at the minute, not enough to make him cut down on spending though. he's like a child that way. he doesn't get the value of money. a lot of it really is my problem. i just cannot get used to him being here and its not his fault! i like my own space which is just selfish, but i just feel like i can't get on with things and by the time he gets up and showered half the day is gone and i don't know why but it makes me feel very unmotivated and down. i do try to get out and about, i get to the gym and meet friends sometimes for coffee and that, but when i come home im tired and just want to be able to relax and feel i can't. giving him jobs to do is a good plan, we have a lot of house stuff to organise before the baby comes, the nursery isn't finished yet, i had some art i would have liked to do but i just cannot concentrate to do it when he is about it takes focus and is time consuming so im disappointed about that but if he goes back to work after another month or so perhaps ill get it done. i so know what you mean about him just being THERE lol. it is something i just have to try to get used to and think of the positives about it! when he is at work i get lonely so at least i don't have that problem!
x

EldritchCleavage Fri 22-Jul-11 07:34:17

Actually, the just hanging around each other can get so annoying. It really is a good idea to try and make sure you're both occupied, then meet up for lunch, say, at home or somewhere else. That way you plan when you are separate and when you're apart (at least on some days). And it really is important to be able to tell each other when you just want to be on your own. It was very difficult at first, but DH and I are both able to do this now, without the other person getting offended.

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