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No sex for seven months

(6 Posts)
loganberry12 Tue 19-Jul-11 16:17:26

should i be worried my husband and i havent had sex for 7 months now. We have been married 5 years and have a 22 month old daughter. To be honest its been so long now i cant be bothered to make the effort anymore and we are both so tired by time we go to bed we usually fall straight to sleep. Im partly scared of the rejection i suppose in case he says no im tired. The only way im guaranteed to get sex is if i put on stockings etc but i feel that he should be attracted to me without having to do that. We had a split in January i threw him out because he smoked weed and i'd had enough, long story any way when he came back after stopping i might add and hasnt touched it since, we had regular sex for a couple of weeks then nothing again. When i try to speak to him about it he just says im nagging, and theres more to life than sex but i dont want a sexless life im 45 and he's 40. we had a good sex life before we married then it seemed to stop????

loganberry12 Tue 19-Jul-11 22:45:31

bump

loganberry12 Tue 19-Jul-11 22:45:57

anyone have a view?

nothingoldcanstay Tue 19-Jul-11 22:59:47

Is it the sex or the affection that's gone? You obviously think the split and weed are something to do with it. What's he replaced weed with?
Best advice is to tell him you absolutely don't want a bunk up but need a cuddle every night. Pressure off, he may be desperate after a week (you will have stuck to your word).If he doesn't want to cuddle either then you have issues.Time for a chat (not about sex as it obviously isn't actually that).

travailtotravel Tue 19-Jul-11 23:02:18

I do - I am 38, DH late 40's. Married 3 years. No DC. We haven't had sex for 4 months. We are both exhausted by work and not making time for each other, that's why. I know he loves me, we want to be together. I do find it wierd to be honest, but have come to accept that its a bit "peaks and troughs". . Being in the mood is two way street, I have to make sure we have "us" time that works for both of us, but even then not guaranteed. Right now, its just stress trying to sort the issue out, and stress trying not to think about it.

I prescribe a weekend away! Is that too obvious?

ameliagrey Wed 20-Jul-11 08:48:15

7 months is not that long- I know friends with dodgy marriages who have not had sex for years and years.

But it's what is happening to your relationship that counts. It sounds as if he has distanced himself, and is not bothered that you are bothered!

You need to find out if he is unhappy with your relationship, or maybe he has a physical issue such as willy wilt and doesn't want to say, or whatever.

I think the only answer is to communicate how you are feeling- not in an accusing or demanding way- but ask him what's going on in his head.

Maybe you could take yourseles off for a night to the pub or out for dinner and try to talk away from the domestic scene?

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