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charater assasination?

(12 Posts)
privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 14:29:01

am separated,getting divorced,we split at new year,none of his family have contacted me since,if anyone asks why we split i say we just didn't get on but i think he must be saying something bad about me to them otherwise why would his family and friends just cut me off? it really bothers me.

Kayano Tue 19-Jul-11 14:33:56

because he might be hurting and they dont want to upset him by maintaining contact

tbh seems like you are jumping to conclusions. speak to them, it might be nothing to do with you at all

but if it is over, are you bothered?

suburbophobe Tue 19-Jul-11 14:34:50

Yes, I can see how it would bother you, but look at it this way.

They're not your friends are they if they can't even be bothered to contact you to see how you are, or hear your side of the story.

I presume there are no children involved?

Time to find new friends! Ones that DO care about you!

privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 14:38:38

yes,there are children involved

oldwomaninashoe Tue 19-Jul-11 14:39:59

How long were you married? Were you close to them?
Sometimes people feel very awkward in this situation in contacting the "in-law" as it feels almost a betrayal of their family member.

If you want to maintain contact, why don't you pick up the 'phone and call just be very matter of fact and chatty, asking after them etc, and don't mention your ex, you might find they are glad that you made the first move!

privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 14:41:05

i am bothered because it hurts,they are my in-laws,we got on fine,we don't live near,i rang when we first split and left a message (answerphone) saying i hope we can maintain contact etc...they never phoned back.

privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 14:42:53

we were married for 8 years.

Kayano Tue 19-Jul-11 14:56:03

If there are children involved then tbh it is out of order. Do the kids see any of them etc\/?

privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 15:01:03

they travelled down last weekend,ex picked kids up from mine,they went home without calling in,i told ex i would like to see them but they didn't come,he said they knocked my door but i was out,i was in and my son (age 7) said they didn't call round sad

privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 15:01:48

i just feel rejected,need to just get over it and move on i know but hard.

privatename Tue 19-Jul-11 15:04:36

when i challenged ex he admitted they hadn't called round at all.

holyShmoley Tue 19-Jul-11 21:38:42

look some families are very much blood thicker than water. I'm incontact with an ex-SIL and it is very difficult because BIL has a serious hump about the idea of it, and DH gets very stroppy on each occassion that there is a text, and thats rare enough.

It is nothing personal, so don't waste your emotions on it.

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