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On the outside looking in

(6 Posts)
Kayano Tue 19-Jul-11 13:18:56

Friend is temporarily coming to stay with us due to the breakdown
Of his relationship. How can I best support him? He still loves his wife but she has some issues and has kicked him out on numerous occasions. I don't know whether to support him by rallying to his cause with a MN 'leave the b***h!' or just not mention it and just look after his needs. Am currently pg so knackered and emotional

Not going into details but his partner does
Mess with his head and pull him in and then push him away. She has physically hurt him and thrown things at him and then twisted it so she was the victim. She later admitted the truth which was
Just as well as
Could have lead to serious trouble.

I just don't know what I should do with myself. Any of you amazing ladies and men advise me on how you would have liked to be supported will be great.

buzzsore Tue 19-Jul-11 13:29:59

I reckon just listen if he wants to talk.

Make sure he helps out while he's staying, as you don't need to be running yourself ragged after a guest if you're knackered. smile

Kayano Tue 19-Jul-11 13:34:03

Well I'm off to clean the spare room now... And then may demand he cooks lol. Good job we hadn't got rid of the bed yet- he be sleeping in the new nursery lol

snoopdogg Tue 19-Jul-11 16:21:26

My current mantra, nicked from someone I heard on the radio, comes from those airline safety talks, the bit about life jackets. They tell you how to put them on then say 'attach own life vest first before assisting others'.

In other words, you can't help anyone else if you're not ok yourself.


inatrance Tue 19-Jul-11 16:57:10

You sound like a lovely friend. smile

It sounds like you can be a help to each other, he can offload and you can be a shoulder to cry on and get him to cook, tidy and carry stuff in return! grin

With regards to his relationship, it sounds like his p is abusive and the sooner he runs for the hills the better. Let him know that it's not his fault and that he can't change her, he can only save himself as people like this only get worse.

Kayano Tue 19-Jul-11 22:23:54

Dude totally walked in and ate and went to his room. Just left him tonight, he had pics of the kids and it seemed so final this time I thought I would cry and flee to the kitchen.

Hope he feels better tomorrow

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