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Lesbian quarrel

(120 Posts)
BirdOfPassage Mon 18-Jul-11 19:38:31

Wonder what you think of this. I am in her kitchen, cooking dinner for us. I need tarragon, which we are both sure will be in her massive herb rack (of which she is very proud). It isn't. I say "You could go and get some from the Coop" (not more than 5 mins away on foot, 2 in the car). She says "Oh I'm not going just for that, can't you use something else?" I am stumped, both at the refusal, and at what to substitute (tarragon and burned-off alcohol give the dish its distinctive sharp taste). Anyway, I use thyme and basil and it turns out ok - but not as good as with tarragon.

After the meal, we have a blazing row - about something completely different, and it turns out to be the end of the affair (my decision). Now I'm wondering if my 'stumpedness' at her refusal affected the development of the row... BTW I don't regret the end of the relationship.

madonnawhore Mon 18-Jul-11 19:40:35

If you don't regret the end of the relationship then why worry retrospectively about some dried herbs?

madonnawhore Mon 18-Jul-11 19:41:05

I suppose I mean: I'm not really sure what you're asking, or why the answer would help you.

stripeywoollenhat Mon 18-Jul-11 19:42:31

i think you should stop thinking about this. really.

annh Mon 18-Jul-11 19:43:34

Why on earth would some herbs influence this situation?! Surely you might just as well wonder if you had a blazing row because one/both of you were suffering from PMT/because it was raining/because you were upset that dinner didn't turn out as well as it might have - for whatever reason?

pollyblue Mon 18-Jul-11 19:43:51

Honestly? I think you sound a bit precious about the tarragon.....Only you know if your "stumpedness" led to the row - I'm a bit stumped as to why you were so stumped that she didn't want to go out - perhaps she simply couldn't be bothered/see the point?

Bit of a storm in a tea pot really......If a lack of tarragon is all you've got to worry about, you're doing pretty well smile

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Mon 18-Jul-11 19:44:32

I think that the fact you are both women is totally irrelevent.

I think that the end is the end <shrug> sometimes you just know it's time to get out. When you are sniping at each other over such trivial things, it's pretty much on its last legs anyway, isn't it?

You don't regret it, so clearly it was the right thing, so what's bothering you about it?

bran Mon 18-Jul-11 19:45:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

filthyfunkproject Mon 18-Jul-11 19:45:34

Not really sure what I'm supposed to say,

Er, yes - maybe the herbs were the catalyst - but hey, it could have been worse.

flowery Mon 18-Jul-11 19:46:21

Agree with bran - I also opened the thread intrigued as to what a lesbian quarrel was!

RealityAlt0174 Mon 18-Jul-11 19:46:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buzzsore Mon 18-Jul-11 19:47:00

I guess her not getting the herb for you irritated you and perhaps you were then readier for a fight over something else. (I wouldn't have gone just for one ingredient either 'tho.)

Sounds like a turbulent relationship, perhaps best ended.

Tidey Mon 18-Jul-11 19:47:02

You're wondering if her refusal to go to a local shop for herbs made you break up with her? Were there a lot of tiny arguments that seemed rather silly but all added up to one big last straw argument?

BirdOfPassage Mon 18-Jul-11 19:47:32

Madonna, I guess I'm wondering if I should have been stumped.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange Mon 18-Jul-11 19:48:48

If you've ended up finishing cause of that then sounds like it wasn't going anywhere.

bran Mon 18-Jul-11 19:48:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catinthehat2 Mon 18-Jul-11 19:49:16


what happened to lalalalalayla earlier? did she admit who her banned friend was?

BirdOfPassage Mon 18-Jul-11 19:49:30

Buzzsore, I think you're right.

filthyfunkproject Mon 18-Jul-11 19:50:09

Cat - it got deleted - we never found out.

geraldinetheluckygoat Mon 18-Jul-11 19:50:59

I think you were a little bit of a twat about the tarragon, in all honesty. But then Ive just served up individual plastic cheese with burgers for tea my opinion is largely irrelevant. grin

garlicbutter Mon 18-Jul-11 19:52:04

Bizarre confused

Well, ignoring the fact that your respective genders have nothing to do with this, she might have been happier to go out for tarragon if she wasn't already spoiling for a fight. You might have been more content to use something else (or check the herbs in advance) if you weren't already spoiling for a fight.

So you weren't really "stumped", you were just in denial at that stage.

Thanks for the reminder! I knew my herb garden was missing something, but couldn't think what grin

madonnawhore Mon 18-Jul-11 19:53:14

Bird, do you mean to ask whether you were unreasonable to think she was being unreasonable not going to get the tarragon?

I think on balance you were probably in the wrong here. I couldn't be fucked to walk 5 mins to the shop just for a seasoning. Some big ingredient like chicken, sure. But not for a flavour.

But if you're glad the relationship is over then her perfectly reasonable refusal probably wound you up because you were ready to end things anyway.

If you'd have been crazy about her, would you have given a shit about the tarragon either?

SleepyCaz Mon 18-Jul-11 19:54:36

What has being lesbian got to do with it? confused

EvenLessNarkyPuffin Mon 18-Jul-11 19:54:51

Thyme/oregano/marjoram with a little anise.

SingOut Mon 18-Jul-11 19:55:01

"I think you were a little bit of a twat about the tarragon, in all honesty"

Best line on MN, EVER. grin

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