Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Counselling question- any counsellors out there?

(7 Posts)
mrsleonardcohen Sun 17-Jul-11 18:18:56

I am going for a session later this week. Have had counselling before but with a different person. Marriage issues.
I know that I will blub and whilst I am not embarrassed I know I will miss out things I want to say and it will be all muddled. When I had counselling a while back I spent most of the first session sobbing. Would it be a weird thing to do to write it down, and give it to her- like you might do when you see a dr and want to make it easier? I'm not shy- I just know that it's going to be very emotional, and I'll come away feelling I have wasted time- and it's expensive.

notsorted Sun 17-Jul-11 19:21:19

I felt very close to tears with counselling. Felt better when I sat down and wrote a list of issues that I wanted to discuss. I then could prioritise them and realised what one or two could be brought up in first session.
I reckon they don't mind crying - that box of tissues is there for a reason.
Perhaps by finding a moment and rehearsing a little of what you want to say you can have a rehearsal and get some of your crying done at that point then you won't cry all the way through. It is admittedly a very expensive way of finding a space to cry in.
And perhaps if you do have a list that you can hand to her if it gets too much.
Best of luck

Becky99 Sun 17-Jul-11 19:30:20

I am training to be a psychotherapist and while I'm not in any way qualified yet I was in therapy for 10 years in my 30s (if that hasn't put you off yet....) and I would say that crying is time well spent & communicates loads to your counsellor. Plus, s/he will want to explore with you why you cannot say what's on your mind instead of neatly writing it down to make it palatable & easy? Expensive?! I don 'know how much you're paying but money spent on good mental health is money eel spent in my book. Compare session price to night out? New shoes? Stick with it.

cuttingpicassostoenails Sun 17-Jul-11 20:50:45

Good advice from Becky.

Pinkseren Sun 17-Jul-11 21:03:43

I have worked as a counsellor and agree with Becky to a point, however, the purpose of counselling is for you to get something out of it and to explore in a safe environment whatever you want to.Just so that you know, the service I worked was in a setting where clients received counselling as a package of care, so did not pay for sessions.

If you feel that you might get more out of your session by taking a list, then do it. I had clients in the past do this, and we were able to discuss their issues as well as the reasons why they felt unable to voice them aloud. The session is about you and a good counsellor will make sure that it is lead by you (even if you do have agood cry, and no we don't mind!). Also, just because you have written something down doesn not mean that you have to discuss it in your counselling session if you are not ready to at that point. All the very best.

FreudianSlipper Sun 17-Jul-11 21:25:12

i am also training to be a psychotherapist (also long way off from qualifying)

and have had lots of counselling, and having to have counselling as part of my training. i used to often take a list of things i wanted to discuss. but after a while i stopped using the list as i learnt to trust my therapist and more importantly i felt safe and that i could be myself and honest and what was on my list was not really the issues at all that were causing me pain and the only person who had a problem with my crying was me

as for costs i think it is invaluable, look on the bacp website for agencies that offer lower cost counselling if you are finding it too expensive.

Eurostar Sun 17-Jul-11 21:51:35

Some types of therapy include writing.

Writing things down is absolutely fine, it can be therapeutic just to do so, no counsellor or therapist should think it strange.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: