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How do we regain a sex life?

(3 Posts)
Squitten Sun 17-Jul-11 11:14:55

DS2 is 7mths old now and me and DH haven't dtd for about a year now - since mid-pregnancy.

Birth was normal but I had a 2nd degree tear so there were stitches. I've been BF and haven't had an unbroken night since the birth. DS1 has also only recently settled to a good sleep pattern after months of 5am starts. DH helps out a lot with the sleep madness but it's still been wearing on us both. DH has been very supportive even though he really wants to get things going again but now he's starting to get a bit frustrated about it.

I don't know what the problem is with me but I just don't want sex. I've shed over 30lbs from BF so I definitely feel good about myself but I have zero drive. I know hormonal contraception has a history of killing my libido and wonder if BF might be having a similar effect? I also don't know how to go about fixing things and I don't know how abnormal this is.

So how does one go about fixing a problem like this?

SimplySerene Sun 17-Jul-11 12:03:26

"I just don't want sex"

Hmm. I don't think waiting until you suddenly feel horny again is the way to go.

For many women, libido is more a "use it or lose it" thing. Appetite comes with eating. Maybe your DH could give you a sensual massage, whisper into your ear exactly what he desires about you, with permission to slowly turn into more?

smearedinfood Sun 17-Jul-11 13:11:14

I think I've been in the same boat, my DH is 11 months. I have been told that once the BFing stops the desire for sex starts again. I've recently started to think about it again (;

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