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Some hows and what ifs.

(4 Posts)
PaperView Sat 16-Jul-11 12:44:14

More to get them out of my head than expecting answers. ANd may not get back to thread if he comes back soon.

How do i tell him that i don't love him? What if when i tell him that i want him to go that he won't go? What do i do then? Do i have to be prepared to take the children and go? What if we have nowhere we can go? How do i even bring it up when there is always something important that i can't 'take over' (recent family events and more coming up)

But the one niggling at me the most s how do i even know if it is right and fair on my children to be with me? What if that is just me being selfish and they should be with him?

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow Sat 16-Jul-11 13:11:14

How do you tell him? As simply and succintly as possible.

What if he won't go? Then you must be prepared to.

Nowhere to go? Save money. Or ask a friend or relative. Or see if you qualify for any kind of housing/benefits. There are always options; explore the ones that are possible for you.

Family events in the way? There is always something. Choose the moment that feels right for you, and do it then.

Who should the children be with? Well, there will be some form of custody arrangement to determine that. It's not something that needs to be immediately worked out now.

You sound overwhelmed. Maybe it could help you for you to draw up a list of the practical steps to be taken, leaving the emotional considerations for a different time? It might help you think and act more clearly.

lazarusb Sat 16-Jul-11 14:15:52

Get this written down. Clarify what you would like to happen, how you feel.
There will always be something 'coming up' family wise but you can't put your life or happiness on hold because of that.
Talk to those around you who may be able to offer support on a practical level if you find yourself needing to leave.
Contact the Benefits Office and see what you may be entitled to financially.
Seek out legal advice to find out where you stand etc.

All these things helped me when I left ex. Be honest when you tell your partner how you feel but if you can avoid it getting nasty, do that.

PaperView Sat 16-Jul-11 20:17:32

Thank you.

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