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Would it be weird to bake for my married, male friend's birthday?

(39 Posts)
create Fri 15-Jul-11 15:23:09

On the day, we're going to an event with both our DCs. It's something we often do as our OH aren't interested and glad that they don't have to go. His day will consist of leaving home at 7am for work, rushing home to collect Dc and straight out to meet me and my DC.

I always take snacks for the DC, usually something I've baked. This time I was thinking of making something birthday themed. Basically, I suppose my question is would his wife think that was weird? I'm really thinking of it for the benefit of the DC and maybe they will sing Happy Birthday, but is that my place/would it upset his wife?

IMO opinion he should be spending his birthday with his DW anyway, but she's apparently fine with it and he wants to go to the event.

jenrendo Fri 15-Jul-11 15:25:35

Bake him a wee cake. I would! It will be nice for the children to have a mini celebration. If the wife's not bothered you two are going out then bake bake bake!

CHOOGIRL Fri 15-Jul-11 15:27:11

I think it is a lovely thoughtful thing to do. Not weird at all YANBU

CHOOGIRL Fri 15-Jul-11 15:27:34

oops thought this was AIBU!!

create Fri 15-Jul-11 16:40:31

OK, thank you. Now what to make......

AnyFucker Fri 15-Jul-11 16:45:09

sounds ok to me

it's my birthday soon < hopeful >

cat64 Fri 15-Jul-11 16:52:35

Message withdrawn

create Fri 15-Jul-11 17:45:13

Must be me who's wierd then cat64 - I just wondered if it was a bit "wifey"

Aislingorla Fri 15-Jul-11 18:05:51

Well...why do you need to ask? Not being against the cake making, think it's a lovely gesture, just wondering why you are unsure?
Do you know his wife?

kaluki Fri 15-Jul-11 19:23:50

I think its wierd that his wife doesn't want to spend the day with him on his birthday.
Baking him a birthday cake is a lovely idea though - especially for the dc.

MooncupGoddess Fri 15-Jul-11 22:05:44

Sounds absolutely fine and a lovely gesture which I'm sure he'll appreciate.

Unless you were planning to ice 'Shag me now, gorgeous' on the top, in which case it might be a little inappropriate.

Is it the case that you are good at baking and well-known in your social circle for being good at baking? (I say this as someone who is not and would no more bake a cake than perform an appendectomy on a rottweiler). If baking a cake would be an unusual and special effort for you, it might seem a bit hmm and buying a small cheap cake to shove a candle in might be a better alternative. It's just that home baking is seen by some people as special, loving, indication of really close affection, etc.

Jux Fri 15-Jul-11 22:27:18

I used to make male friends cakes and stuff for their birthdays when I knew they weren't getting a cake from anyone else. Usually the partner had far too much else to do what with kids etc, to make a cake, and after all, we're grown ups and cakes are for kids blah blah blah. I firmly believe that a birthday cake is a very wonderful thing, and everyone should have one.

Can't imagine what his wife would object to, unless she's spending the afternoon when you're all out making him one herself.

cat64 Fri 15-Jul-11 22:56:14

Message withdrawn

TheRealMBJ Fri 15-Jul-11 23:07:08

I think it is a lovely gesture.

However, I'm with SGB here regarding the fact that it can be seen as a special, unusual effort to go to, particularly if you are not the baking type. If you are always baking something (as you mention in your OP) and it is no real 'extra' effort then not weird at all.

Just wondering why you are wondering? IYKWIM?

It's a little like (or indeed quite alot like) a handmade birthday card - if you are someone who is into making greetings cards either as a hobby or for profit, giving a friend or acquaintance a handmade card for a birthday is just a nice thing to do. If you go out specially to buy all the bits and create a card, sort of out of the blue, it would be a bit wierd to do this for someone who isn't a really close friend or family member.

Lizzabadger Sat 16-Jul-11 06:19:30

If there's any doubt whether it's weird then I think it's safer not to do it.

I also wonder why you are questioning this so much...

Aislingorla Sat 16-Jul-11 09:55:57

I suspect you may have feelings ,stronger than friendship, for this man?
Tell me I am wrong!
It's because you need to question the 'cake' gesture!

TheSecondComing Sat 16-Jul-11 09:59:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsareevil Sat 16-Jul-11 10:19:15

I think that if you usually bake something for everyone then doing something birthday themed isnt much of a stretch at all, as its not really any extra effort.

grumpypants Sat 16-Jul-11 10:23:19

I was mightily hmm when a friend baked a cake for dh's birthday - felt a bit like there was no need for me to? But, she was single, it wasn't a day out together - depends on the motive luv!

SandStorm Sat 16-Jul-11 10:27:55

Surely it's just part of the picnic though? Can't see a problem with it at all.

PonceyMcPonce Sat 16-Jul-11 10:32:19

If you get the dc to help decorate it, then more of a family effort gesture

TheRealMBJ Sat 16-Jul-11 10:39:57

I'm still interested into why the OP is questioning the gesture.

Aislingorla Sat 16-Jul-11 10:47:41

hmmm.....and not answering.
Perhaps I should not be suspicious, dunno, curious....

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