Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

My Husband Is Better Than Yours...

(22 Posts)
clarlce Wed 13-Jul-11 21:14:53

I am reading 'Wifework' by Susan Maushart.

I thought it might be a refreshing change to say in what ways my partner is a decent human being.

My son is now a year and a half. During the time i breastfed him my partner got up with me at EVERY feed during the night JUST to keep me company. We would watch box-set series (Firefly, Sopranos etc.) and sneak down into the kitchen and make ourselves tea, hot chocolate and generally stuff ourselves with whatever 'naughty' stuff we could fine. It was great fun.

He was present at the birth of both of our sons. The first birth was very painful during transition. My partner, odd as it may seem, knew exactly what to do and what i was doing wrong. He said 'you're sending all your energy out the top of your head -send it down' and he pushed gently on the top of my head - it worked and the remainder of the birth was fantastic...pleasurable in fact.

The house-work is, without breaking it down to the level of pedantry, shared equally. A few months back there was a period where i had unpacked the dishwasher, continuously, for about 2 weeks. He then SPONTANEOUSLY began unpacking it all the time. I sarcastically remarked 'oh, i thought you'd forgotten where the dishwasher was, dear' and he said 'yeah, i suddenly thought it must be a real hassle to do a job like that all the time and just having a break can make the drudgery of domestic life so much easier'.

He changes as many nappies as I do, plays with the kids, cooks dinner, i can discuss personal subjects with him as well as get a good, intellectual debate out of him.

Naturally he can be a total cunt when he wants and occasionally i wish him dead but overall, on average, he's my equal.

LemonDifficult Wed 13-Jul-11 21:16:22

That's great. But he's not better than mine.

clarlce Wed 13-Jul-11 21:16:53

ohhhhh yes he is!!

DragonAlley Wed 13-Jul-11 21:17:45

yes, he's better than mine.

But, to be fair, that's not difficult given mine fucked off to shag some tart whilst I was pregnant with DD.

Hassled Wed 13-Jul-11 21:19:09

I think if my DH had pushed the top of my head during transition I woudl have killed him.

But yes - equality rules grin. Unfortunately my DH is slightly less perfect but has the ultimate excuse of being the other side of the country during the week. Hard to unpack the dishwasher from there.

Fairenuff Wed 13-Jul-11 21:23:10

OP I've got one of those too! He was great with the babies and now they're teens he has a fab relationship with them. (But mine's better than yours wink

clarlce Wed 13-Jul-11 21:24:35

ah yes, i forgot. My partner works away some of the time, as an engineer. Being a passionate feminist, he fully acknowledges full-time parenting to be the most demanding job and endeavours to make up for the disparity in work load when he's home.

pointythings Wed 13-Jul-11 21:55:18

My DH is fab. He cooks weekdays because he is home earlier, ditto starting loads of laundry and dealing with them. Early on he handled the most dreadful nappies with ease and cooked me meals when the DDs were colicky - and walked around endlessly with them in the sling so that I could eat.

When I am away overnight for work (and it's always me, never him), he just takes over without complaint.

We both acknowledge that we are good at different things - I am better at entertaining the DDs and managing their conflicts. I also understand the school system better than he does (he is American) so supervising homework is my gig, as is reading to the DDs (I do voices better than he does). Equally, he is better at keeping the household running - laundry, food, DIY - and between the two of us, it just works. We take big decisions jointly and are able to talk openly about money without conflicts, despite the fact that we do not (on principle) have a joint account.

No-one's DH is perfect, and instead of saying 'My DH is better than yours' perhaps we should all just raise a glass of wine tp our lovely DHs and congratulate ourselves on the excellent choices we have made.

Hoopsadazy Wed 13-Jul-11 21:59:06

Mine is fab, sometimes just makes me knees go wobbly by just smiling at me. Ooh, I love him so much for being so wonderful. Men are fab - most of the time!!

ZhenXiang Wed 13-Jul-11 22:06:52

Mine is fab, is a SAHD and does 99% of the cooking and cleaning. Plus he irons my work clothes which is great as I hate ironing grin.

A nice glass of wine for everyone to toast your lovely DH's so nice to see a thread aplauding men rather than bashing them.

I will have to be content with a non-alcoholic beverage as am in the family way. Raises brew [clink].

smartyparts Wed 13-Jul-11 22:10:38

I'll sign up as I have an embarrassingly perfect dh too.

So much so, that I have to do fake empathising with mates when they moan about theirs, whilst quietly thinking how lucky I am.

Reality Wed 13-Jul-11 22:14:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummynoseynora Wed 13-Jul-11 22:15:52

I just love the last line personally grin occasionally I wish him dead!

My DH is a fab one too - he has his moments, but he rocks, he even listens to me moan, doesn't complain when I wake him up in the middle of the night because something is on my mind and I can't sleep... doesn't even (rarely) ask why the hell I didn't talk about this 4 hours ago... oh and he doesn't laugh at me when I become a blubbering mess over nothing!

oh and he can cook and is good with the kids too grin

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls Wed 13-Jul-11 22:18:27

I spend my life wondering why dh never makes the sodding bed, then realise its because I always get out of it after him so he can't make it as I am still in it blush

He is fab some of the time, and is very clean which is a bonus! grin

clarlce Wed 13-Jul-11 23:05:59

rofl! smartypants - i do that! having to pretend he's useless to other women.

Oh and another thing we do is have a kind of moon lodge. Sounds like new age hippy crap but thats just what we call it. Basically whenever i'm pre-menstrual, or menstrual, or post-menstrual <g> he takes over. I'm fairly forceful on this issue though so i dont think he has a choice anyway. I will stomp downstairs and insist that 'for the next 3 days or so i am no longer a wife or mother'. I will tell the kids to naff off if they want the simplest of things and simply refuse to engage my partner on any subject that doesnt interest ME. rofl - its so refreshing and spirit-lifting.

crazzy Wed 13-Jul-11 23:51:01

Well actually, my DH loves cooking, helps with the kids but has no desire for me.

We went out tonight and I was so up for sex but he just sent to bed and ignored me. I went downstairs cried my eyes out, ate a massive bar of chocolate and will go to be bed feeling undesired.

My friends think I am ungrateful because he helps me so much. But is that better than a husband who shows no desire?
And oh by the way he cheated on me three times with my so called friend, refuses to leave me because he claims he loves me...

Sorry had too much too drink and feeling very sad.

LuckyMrsT Thu 14-Jul-11 00:51:52

Oh Crazzy,so sorry x

I love mine even though he does bugger all housework. He is the kindest man I've ever met and is really funny. I knew him three years before we got together and he was the guy at work that everybody fancied. He's ridiculously good looking but not remotely vain - he thinks HE'S done well marrying me!!! I am Lucky Mrs T indeed.

I still wish he did some bloody cleaning though.

shocked2 Thu 14-Jul-11 13:57:38

gosh I wish mine made my knees go wobbly by just smiling at me envy - my dh also likes cooking and adores the kids but not me crazzy - sorry you are feeling sad...

shocked2 Thu 14-Jul-11 13:58:26

because we hardly ever smile at each other - normally only in relation to something funny the kids are saying/doing or have said/done.

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers Thu 14-Jul-11 14:03:34

Yes he is.

Al0uiseG Thu 14-Jul-11 14:09:12

My husband is completely unreconstructed. He does very little in the house even less in the garden. He doesn't, however, expect me to do it all either.

If I don't feel like cooking he doesn't cook but he takes us out. Unless its breakfast time and he does a fantastic breakfast. He adores our children and our dog (that he didn't want) but most of all he makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

otchayaniye Fri 15-Jul-11 06:48:35

Well, I don't know if my husband is the best, but I think the world of him.

He gave up full time work to look after our daughter (he's a journalist) so I get to work part time. He works two long night shifts but only sleeps a few hours on those days so he can come out with us in the afternoon or take her swimming

He used to get up with me at every feed and watch The Wire (he was full time then). And he supports me breastfeeding a 2-1/2 year old while pregnant even though it can be disruptive (and is probably a passion dampener sometimes)

You hear a lot about attachment parenting falling mainly to the mother (bfeeding etc) but he is a fully paid up attachment father and wrap carries our daughter, etc (I call it this, it's shorthand for what we fell into doing, we're not theorists or anything)

He cooks most of the meals and most lunches for himself and my daughter

He is continuing part time work for at least 6 months after I have our second daughter to be with us and help.

He does almost all the washing

He gets me treats (and I him)

We talk like the soul mates we always have been (been together 15 years since university)

He has two degrees from Oxford (I only have one, boo hoo) and isn't eaten up by a gnawing sense of failure when he hears about the monetary success of his peers. Caring for our children together is what we are focused on for now.

He used to buy me sportsbikes

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now