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All by myself...

(5 Posts)
malinkey Tue 12-Jul-11 23:07:12

...just wanna be all by myself <warbles tunelessly>

Please excuse the self-indulgence but after the worst year imaginable living with my ex after I told him I wanted to leave (original thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/990274-Want-to-separate-from-emotionally-abusive-partner-but-don-39/AllOnOnePage I am finally away from him living in a nice rented place with DS - I feel like I can finally breathe and I just wanted to write it down.

So for the last year we've been living in the same flat while we had some building work done and put the place on the market - not a happy situation as it was accompanied by abusive self-pitying rants. I felt so low at one point that I couldn't imagine ever getting away and began to believe I wouldn't be a good parent on my own. But after just a few days I feel free. The horrible churning anxiety I was beginning to believe was here for good seems to have gone, ditto the nighttime panic attacks. For the first time in ages I feel really positive. DS seems happier and we can have fun without having to put up with ex's moaning and oppressive cloud of doom following us around.

Now ex can phone or text and I can just shrug it off because I don't have to live with him any more and he won't be walking through the door at the end of the day.

Anyone in a similar position, there is light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better.

Anniegetyourgun Wed 13-Jul-11 14:56:23

Congratulations. Enjoy your freedom. It really is like a miasma of misery they carry around with them, isn't it? I laugh now, sometimes. I've even been caught singing on occasion. Haven't quite got my marbles back (they're probably down the back of the old sofa) and the mojo has left the territory, but mood-wise, yeah, it's all good.

You're going to be a fabulous parent on your own.

HedleyLamarr Wed 13-Jul-11 16:14:49

Congratulations Malinkey. Onwards and upwards is, I believe, the appropriate saying.

UnhappyLizzie Wed 13-Jul-11 17:39:38

It's so great to hear that. I'm trying to separate from my husband and he's not compliant. It's going to be a nightmare. Two DDs. I've been drinking too much and so unhappy. He tells me I won't manage on my own, something I fear myself. Took me a long time to realise that my self-destructive behaviour wasn't me, it's the person I am when he's around.

Had a lovely weekend with kids when he was away, we were all happier. Hoping it will be like that all the time when I'm with them at some point in the future.

smile

WhoDidIMarry Wed 13-Jul-11 17:52:07

Congratulations! grin

You said on your original thread that you wanted to part in the least acrimonious way possible - have you managed this?

I am set to be in your position very soon - can't wait!

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