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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - We're All Going On A Sober Holiday!

(1001 Posts)
Mouseface Tue 12-Jul-11 15:47:07

Hello, I'm Mouse smile

Welcome to the Brave Babe's Bus. This is a bus full of drinkers old and new, sober and not, and those who are somewhere in between.

We are all at different levels of sober so you can bet that one of us has walked in your shoes.

If you want advice and support then you're in the right place.

Come take a seat or just lurk, we're happy to have you along for the ride. smile

And here is a link to the last thread so you can catch up on the journey so far HERE

lucilastic Tue 12-Jul-11 16:31:20

Just bagging my seat. BTW I scored 13 in the test in the previous thread. I am probably an alcoholic. Being here has helped me accept that. I am without doubt someone with a very unnatural and unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
I am glad to be here.

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 16:38:47

Hello! May I come sit by you luci? I am definitely an alcoholic - I scored 8, but I have to admit a year ago I would only have admitted to two or three of those. blush

jesuswhatnext Tue 12-Jul-11 16:44:06

ha! i can beat you there LRD! i wouldnt have done the stupid nosy stupid boring stupid test in the first place! grin i would have thought 'well, you can fuck right off with that load of bollocks' and gone straight off down the pub! grin

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 16:47:25


Yes, jesus, you win. wink

silent, I do hope you are reading this. I can't post on the other thread as I've closed it now. But some of us are interested in cutting down rather than stopping and I think almost everyone on the bus has at some time or another given it a go, so you would be in good company. By the nature of things, those of us who've not managed it will probably only be able to tell you about the warning signs ... but that's ok, isn't it? You'll have lots of people around to suggest good non-alc drinks that are nice to help you cut down, I can tell you about de-alcoholized wine that actually tastes nice (if you're interested!) ... there really is plenty of support if you decide to stay. smile

talldrinkofwater Tue 12-Jul-11 16:54:39

I was coming back anyway today, but I'm a sucker for a test wink. I 'scored' well into double figures but the drinking alone and jeopardising my family's welfare are the real issues for me.

Day 1 again; my inner Mrs Doyle ("Ah, g'wan...") has been holding sway over the last few weeks and I'm right back into my old bad habits.
Depressing to think I'm effectively where I was when I first posted back in March, but my thinking has definitely changed, I just need to get my actions to follow suit.

I think I probably am an alcoholic, but know I have a tendency to hide behind labels, so am working on the "what to do about it" and not the "why me".

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 16:58:14

Yeah, I know what you mean tall (great name btw!). It's tempting to say bravely 'yes, I am an alcoholic' and feel almost as if by admitting it I've done something very good and positive so I can relax a bit on the actual, erm, not drinking.

I did that for a looong time. blush

obrigada Tue 12-Jul-11 17:06:16

Marking my place as well, although to be fair I lurk more than I post.

jesuswhatnext Tue 12-Jul-11 17:15:27

isnt it odd how we react to labels? - i didnt admit for years i was alcoholic simply because it would have meant that i would have to address my drinking and actually have to do something about it! something else i find now is, when i feel the urge to drink while im socalising i find that my conscience shouts at me that now i have announced my alcoholism that i cant worry everyone by drinking, that its not fair to dump shit on my friends by getting pissed iyswim?

MissPerrier Tue 12-Jul-11 17:21:23

Hi everyone. I'm not sure that I really care if I'm an Alcoholic any more than I care that I'm a Pisces, I just know my life is much better without alcohol, and for whatever reason my relationship with drink was totally screwed. If I choose to drink again, which I guess is always a possibility, I know without a shadow of a doubt it will be the same as before or worse. It can never change into a good thing for me. MIF helped me understand that, that no small feat MIF so thanks for that. While I'm at it thank you all, you are all fabulous, thought provoking people. x

HideTheEmpties Tue 12-Jul-11 17:22:24

Just marking my lurkers spot.... blush

Mouseface Tue 12-Jul-11 18:17:18

<shifts up the Bus>

silent - as we have always and will remain to be a truly mixed bunch of drinkers/non-drinkers or in my case a 'holic', you're certainly not on the wrong thread but your last post from the previous thread, rang massive bells for me.

I think you need more support, or certainly additional support, than we can give you, to get you through the problems with you brother. Is there anyone to help you with him?

munkymaz Tue 12-Jul-11 18:48:21

Still struggling, still lurking........marking my spot!

silentcatastrophe Tue 12-Jul-11 19:00:04

No. I find his presence very frightening. He is like a human wrecking ball, and you never know what is going to trigger the next onslaught. He is very proud and will not listen to advice, and refuses to take responsibility. I just thought, hang on, why do I have to hurt myself on his behalf?

I have a fabulous dh and gorgeous children, and a house full of hairy love as well. This year I have taken the plunge and become self-employed. It's very up and down, though getting rejections isn't hurting me as much as it used to. I come from a family that made the children barely worthy of breathing. Myself and my siblings are pretty much drop-outs, and it's hard to be a drop-in and recognise self-worth. Very hard.

I am getting a lot of support from Business Link, who are fantastic. The alcohol and drugs service offer councelling and help for binge drinkers, and I am getting help with stopping smoking (again). I have stopped for 6 years, so these things are possible. The alcohol is less of a problem than the other obstacles in my life. This week, I have been enjoying a tin of beer here and there, and tonight I am having a glass of wine. I find it enjoyable when I have a future. If I could drink sensibly nearly all the time, I would be a happy bunny. If not, perhaps not drinking at all may be the only way forward.

Thank you Mouse for your kindness.

LRD, I have made the most fantastic elderflower champagne! It hits the spot that beer would take, but without the alcohol! I am going to make some mint and lemon cordial. HOme-made is so much better than anything bought!

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 19:12:37

silent, you sound amazing to come through against all those obstacles (and with elderflower champagne! grin)

How'd you make it then? I've made cordial, but not for ages and this sounds delicious too. I love elderflower - smell, taste, everything.

lucilastic Tue 12-Jul-11 19:17:53

Mint and lemon cordial sounds lovely. I struggle to muster up any enthusiasm for soft drinks. I do like a nice iced tea though.
Am drinking gallons of herbal tea and coffee in the early evenings to replace my wine/beer/cider fix.

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 19:22:12

I find lots of soft drinks far too sweet - I like lime juice diluted with sparkling water. Waitrose also do about the only non-horrible dealcoholized wine - it's 'Natureo' by Torres. It is unfortunately still over 5 quid a bottle which is a lot, but genuinely tastes nice. No use if you are strictly sober, but you could not physically get drunk on it.

silentcatastrophe Tue 12-Jul-11 19:35:31

My recipes for all things elderflower are very very simple.... Chuck it in a bucket. For the champagne, you need elderflower heads, sugar, lemons and a slosh of vinegar. Chuck it in a bucket overnight or for a couple of days, and bottle. I used to use fizzy water bottles, but you can watch them stretching. Do NOT use wine bottles unless you are severely massochistic and like cleaning up glass! Beer making kit is the best if you have it. Everything must be sterilised and properly clean. I use Milton and rinse it out. Saying that, I have made elderflower successfully even when the dogs have had a good slurp.

The cordial is just as easy. Everything clean, lots of sugar (about a kilo), lemons, elderflower, citric acid, and enough hot water to cover everything. Cover the the bucket or bowl and leave for 24/48 hours or so, stirring if you feel like it, and bottle.

Our elderflowers are over now, so I want to try something else.

There is a good very low cider in Sainsburys, and the little tiny bottles of beer they sell are very weak alcohol. They are about 2%.

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 20:08:56

Mmm, sounds good! So does it actually ferment? It presumably has some alcohol then, but not much?

I've seen Sainsbury's low-alc cider but I don't drink anything over .5% (.5 is the lowest you're legally allowed to put on it - plenty of things are actually lower but they have to have that label). If you like low-alc stuff, M&S do a Frizzante wine that is quite low - 10% I think - which is decent.

LRDTheFeministNutcase Tue 12-Jul-11 20:09:58

(Oh .... I have crap manners ... meant to say thanks for the recipe! blush)

munkymaz Tue 12-Jul-11 20:11:26

I've just discovered elderflower cordial?.....silent your recipes sound fab!

Fairenuff Tue 12-Jul-11 20:39:34

Hi all < climbs aboard and waves >

Just enjoying a tall lime & soda with ice and a slice.

silent I too do not have a massive problem with alcohol. But it is a problem. Usually happy to go without but when I do drink, I drink a lot more than I want to! Just can't seem to stop.

Interestingly (or to me it is), when I gave up smoking I started to drink a lot more. Even when I stopped craving nicotine I just had a craving for . . . well, something. Alcohol filled that void. And still does ten years later.

I didn't realise what a problem it was until I tried to cut down because I wanted to lose weight. I found it really hard. Then I found this bus and I think I have some direction now. It's going to be a long journey but I won't be doing it alone.

starmucks Tue 12-Jul-11 20:49:05

Ahoy bus buddies. I was a little quite on the last thread: didn't feel I could contribute to the final debate. MissPerrier, I could have written your post. Feels good to know myself, and for me that is only possible by not drinking.

dementedma Tue 12-Jul-11 21:12:45

<climbs aboard somewhat stiffly and eases into seat>

munkymaz Tue 12-Jul-11 21:15:14

<gives ma a soothing back rub> sorry to hear about your accident, hope you and yours are feeling better soon

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