Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Reasons to get divorced

(7 Posts)
seasaw Mon 11-Jul-11 15:53:46

So, if you are in a relationship and you fall out of love of your partner. You might not trust him anymore. Or you simply can't communicate meaningfully with him. These are all valid reasons to want and get divorced (aren't they?)
But are they still valid reason to get divorced when you have dcs? Or do you need to 'work harder' at it before saying it's enough?

seasaw Mon 11-Jul-11 17:01:22

bump

clarlce Mon 11-Jul-11 17:12:34

depends how long it has been going on for. Most people fall in and out of love with their partners. Sometimes its boring, sometimes you're in love, sometimes you cant stand the sight of them, sometimes you only want their company etc etc.

seasaw Mon 11-Jul-11 18:38:28

I can't quite remember when is the last time I felt 'in love' with him. A long long time ago (I mean years).

Ihave have felt very hurt for a long time and angry too. Now I don't want to be with him and I know I don't trust him for quite few things.
Communication has been no existant well at least since dc2 was born, if not before. dc2 is 6yo.... sad

UnhappyLizzie Mon 11-Jul-11 18:47:48

I can't tell you when is the right time, or what is the right thing to do. I have been struggling with these issues for years and have put a few agonised threads on here in recent weeks.

I am about to start another, I am going to get out and I need to find the strength to do it, and help with practicalities. It's terrifying, but I think my dcs need a happy mum more than they need their parents under one roof. It's such a tough call, I have been unhappy for so so long.

Not hijacking, all I will say is that my experience has been that it takes a long time to reach the point. I have thought I'd got there more than once, but have backed down in the face of bullying and emotional blackmail. If things carry on as they are, all you can do is try and change them. When you get to the point where you feel you have exhausted the possibilities you at the end of the road. I feel I am in this place, you sound like me a two years, a year, a few months ago. I have tried and tried. It's broken and can't be fixed. I have suffered so many agonies over this. But I've reached the point where I feel I can hardly bear another 24 hours with this person.

Everyone I know who chose to split with dh got to this point. Fact is, women will try and try, no one wants a marriage to end, and it's mourning all the hopes and dreams you had as well.

I feel for you and hope you will find a way to resolve your situation. x

clarlce Mon 11-Jul-11 18:52:02

Then get divorced...its really not that big a deal these days. It is a valuable lesson your children will learn (especially if you have daughters) that love in a relationship is important and that if you don't have it then it is possible to do it alone.

seasaw Mon 11-Jul-11 18:57:13

unhappy I can relate to your post quite a lot. I totally know what you mean about wondering if I have gone to the end of the road or if I should/will try again harder.
Except that I've found I've stopped really trying in some ways. It's more about trying to stay civil more than trying to make things better.
What is left is the fear (and back down)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now